We often end up living an “unexpected” life. Yet through it, glimmers of hope, faith, love and peace find their way through.
After being married for forty years and serving the Catholic Church as a deacon for the last five years, leaving the diaconate was the last thing on my mind.
Never did I expect to be a suicide survivor. Grieving the loss of my wife was difficult enough, but with suicide, the grieving was much more intense. Being a deacon in the Catholic Church intensified that grieving even more.
Being alone was never a problem for me, but true loneliness was something new. It came with a realization that I didn’t have anyone to share my life with anymore, and, most dauntingly, because of being a deacon, it came with a sense of permanence - knowing that this was my life now.
The Catholic Church made it clear. I could not stay a deacon and pursue another loving relationship that could lead to marriage. I was aware of the rule, but after two years of discernment, I couldn’t seem to make a decision. This battle put me into the hospital for open-heart surgery. Finally, with God’s help, I made my decision.
Rick, a local reporter, wanted to interview me with regard to my diaconate experience and how I came to that decision. Rick turned out to be more than a reporter. This is my story. Through it, I hope glimmers of hope, faith, love and peace find their way through your clouds as well.

Proceeds go to Suicide Awareness

Is there a heaven? What will it be like? Will we meet relatives and friends there? Will there be food and wine? Will there be sex? Will we see our pets? How will we get around? Will we have bodies?

These questions are not new. We have all thought about them.

Join Lou as he travels from his hospital bed to his small hometown of Magnolia, New Jersey, where his journey to heaven begins as his guardian angel helps him answer those questions and more.

Open your mind, your spirit, your heart, and your soul.

No one seems to remember when John first started coming to the Wick. Who is he? Why the Warwick Tavern? His discussions on life and faith don’t seem appropriate for a neighborhood tavern.

Despite that—or perhaps because of it—people come to him and welcome his views, which always seem uncannily tailored to what they needed to hear. The crazy thing? They didn’t come to the Wick to have any such conversations; they came to have a few drinks and laugh with friends. At least, that’s what Wick’s regular Bob thought when he stopped in one night.

But there was something about John that drew people to him. When Bob sat down next to John that night, he didn’t yet realize the unexpected path John would set him on. Over a couple of months, John, Bob, and a handful of other regulars discuss and witness the power of prayer, God’s graces, hope, faith, and so much more.

So, pull up a stool at the bar, order a drink from Al, and remember - open your mind, your spirit, your heart and soul. John will lead you through a journey of faith, hope, joy, and light.