“Do you know how to forgive?” ‘
I paused. “Yeah…I think so.”
“Really? So, what is forgiveness?”
“When someone does something you did not like or hurts you, you let it go and accept what they did and who they are.”
“Hmmm.” The Lion pondered my reply. “This is not forgiveness. Can you forgive yourself for everything that you have done to your wife…all the lies, all the affairs, the negligence?”
“No, I cannot forgive myself.”
“Come on, what would it look like,” the Lion nudged, “if you forgave yourself?”
“
Honestly, I have no clue. My fear is that If I forgave myself, I would keep doing the things I do.”
“You haven’t forgiven yourself now, but you continue to do the things you do anyway. What’s the difference? Can you forgive the boy who was teased at school, who couldn’t stand up to the kids who bullied him, who was called a girl for crying?”
“Yes, I can.”
“Listen, it looks easy on the surface, but it is not what you think. Forgiveness is not a simple act; it is a profound act. It is a humane act. It is a courageous and bold act. It is the act of God, an act of kindness and compassion. It is a worthy act. It is worthy of you and you are worthy of it. It is an act of love, unconditional love. It is a humble act. True forgiveness doesn’t allow you to reason about why you should forgive. If you are looking to find reasons to forgive, that is not true forgiveness. This is still reasoning based on conditions. Let me ask you this: why were you quick to forgive yourself as a boy as opposed to your current self?”
“It is simple,” I replied. “As a young boy, I was innocent, but as an adult, I am not.”
“What is the point of forgiving someone who you think is already innocent? If someone bullied you now and you did not stand up for yourself, would you forgive yourself?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because I am a grown man and should have learned by now how to defend myself.”
“See you are reasoning forgiveness. So, let me ask you, should I, the Lion—if I lived in your time—forgive you?”
“No, because of what has been done to you by man.”
“You keep going back to reasoning why or why not to forgive. Forgiveness, just like respect, is always there for humanity. There is nothing that cannot be forgiven—literally nothing. It is a privilege to be forgiven. That privilege does not come with rules and laws. It is what is so, just like respect. Remember, you are respected just for being born and inhabiting Mother Earth. Similarly, forgiveness is an inherent quality. It can’t be masked by shame or guilt. Your forgiveness of yourself will heal you. It will heal your family. It will
heal your legacy and give rise to a new one that will make your heart sing with palpitations you have not felt in years. Would you not want that for yourself?”
I nodded enthusiastically. It intrigued me that I could be forgiven for just being human and inhabiting Mother Earth. I am gaining a new level of respect for Mother Earth. I asked the Lion what would happen if I continued to behave as always in spite of forgiving myself.
“You would continue to forgive, for in true forgiveness there is healing. It cannot be otherwise.”
I felt relieved. Here I was thinking that forgiveness was a one‐time thing. It gave me a lot of relief knowing it was a continuous act. “This is great. I am so relieved. However, I would also like my wife to forgive me. I think it will give me even greater relief.”
“That is her choice,” the Lion roared, “to forgive or not. Waiting for her forgiveness is not your path to healing. Her forgiveness is her path to healing. See, here is where humanity is confused in your time. You think by someone else forgiving you that everything is set. When another person truly forgives you, it does heal the situation. However, you have to go on your own path of forgiveness as well. You can’t ride the wave of another’s forgiveness. It is deeper than that. If you are trying to ride on another’s forgiveness, you are missing the point. No one can heal you but you. Forgiveness should be part of everyday life for yourself and others.”
“So, if I forgive myself, is there a chance my wife and I will get back together, back to how we were?”
He roared again. “That is a misconception. Healing comes in several forms, and no one can predict the outcome. Your job is to stay in a state of forgiveness. In that state, your wisdom will know how to handle the outcome. If you become attached to an outcome in your forgiveness journey, you will be sorely disappointed, for this is not true forgiveness. Anything attached to an outcome or result is your ego dictating your actions. Your job is to know how to distinguish your ego from your wisdom. This is something you have to learn by being more aware of who you are. Remember how we talked about being numb and not being able to cry? You will start to feel things, as part of true forgiveness. You might cry. You might laugh. You might be sad. Forgiveness brings out true emotions from your inner self. You are worthy of these emotions and you are releasing years of pent‐up fears and judgments. The reason you have this issue about forgiveness is that you are judging yourself. You are like a movie trailer that runs the scenes over and over to justify why you cannot forgive. Change the movie trailer and see your life shift.”
“Of all the things you have taught me so far, this is the best. I never thought I could forgive myself.” I could see that the Lion was happy, since his wisdom had finally hit home with me. I felt a lot lighter than before. I was relieved beyond measure, but I still had one more question. “Lion, how do I keep shame and guilt at bay?”
“You have lived with it for a long time and this is all you know,” the Lion replied. “Imparted forgiveness, respect, wisdom will help, and it will be a song and dance—just like a child learning to walk. Would you ever chide a child for not knowing how to walk? Don’t beat yourself up when you feel shame and guilt, just recognize it. Don’t beat yourself up when you don’t forgive yourself or another, just be with it. Letting things be part of your awareness elevates your learning, for you have come to learn. Learn the wonderful things that Mother Earth imparts as part of her wisdom. You know that is the best part about living on Mother Earth. She is very forgiving.”
“So, she would forgive us for all that we have done to her as part of my family legacy?”
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