“Apparently President Rump misunderstood his oath of office just fourteen months ago. He thought the Chief Justice asked, ‘Do you swear to violate, desecrate, and urinate all over The Constitution and the American people?’ To which he faithfully answered, ‘I do.’ Because that’s exactly what he’s done.
“He blames his predecessor, his former electoral opponent, and unnamed leakers for all his woes. But actually, he’s the biggest leaker ever to occupy the White House. He’s been taking a leak all over law and decency since Day 1. A recent poll of non-partisan historians was published ranking presidents from best to worst in terms of leadership, effectiveness, and fidelity to their office. And Rump placed dead last. With less than half his term served. He was never fit or qualified to assume the Presidency, and he has proven to be a cancer on the body politic that continues to metastasize.
“And so we pick up the cudgel dropped by our late colleague Max Punch. We demand of Congress, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? WAKE UP AND SAVE OUR COUNTRY!”
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