Breathless Haste

As we were rounding out our second year in Chicago, we began to have serious questions about what was next. Jay had been asked to consider taking a full-time paid staff role as an area pastor at the church. That idea felt daunting. What I had originally signed up for was a three-year internship. We had no idea what the future would look like, but home and family were still calling my name. Several people suggested that we attend one of the monthly elder prayer sessions after the service for guidance and wisdom. I didn’t think our need was big enough, but we felt prompted to go. Jay and I waited in line for an elder, and she asked, “Why are you here?” We told her that we had a major decision to make regarding our next steps with the internship. She prayed that we would have a telescopic and microscopic vision. Not really sure what that meant other than thinking about it through our current situation and the future potential, we attended again the next month, and two elders prayed over us. They asked that God would in some way paint a billboard. Yes, a billboard, just as I had prayed for when I was seeking discernment for surgery for Neale. Goosebumps. They prayed about landscaping a yard and knowing where to plant things. What an odd thing to pray for!

The next day, I sat down in my beloved red chaise lounge chair in my bedroom and decided to reread Jeremiah 29 from the beginning. Jeremiah 29:5 says, “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens.” “Oh no!” I yelled out loud as I read this text. It sounded as if God was speaking to me again. Again, it was not audible, but a deep nudging in my spirit. And it seemed that He was suggesting that we should let our shallow roots grow deeper here. It was not what I wanted to hear.