Breathless Haste

As the song played, I pulled my chair back from the table, leaned forward, put my arms on my legs, and lowered my head until it hung between my knees. I remember my tears dripping directly onto the carpet below. I was swept away in a moment of trying to surrender fully to God. The words of the song felt as if they were written specifically for me at this exact point in time, at this crossroads in my life. I was completely undone.

A woman on the church staff noticed that I was struggling. At the next break, she kindly asked how she might be able to help. I launched into several of the questions that were swirling around in my head, one of which was where we would live. She offered to drive us around the area later that day. One of the neighborhoods we toured was Algonquin Lakes, about twenty minutes from the church. It was a new neighborhood with a new elementary school. I vividly remember taking a mental snapshot of the elementary school and the street it was on, all covered in snow. It became seared in my memory.

Jay and I returned to the hotel and discussed the events of the day. I asked Jay, “If God had asked us before Neale’s birth if we would move to Chicago as a trade for the miracle of her life, would we have taken the offer?” We both agreed without a doubt that we would. So why now, after the miracle, would we not take it?