“Earlier you said it was my fault. You blamed me for the situation that we are in now!” Darius said.
He managed to make his comment sternly, although the woman he spoke to was hovering a few inches off the ground outside his window.
“But I didn't do this to you. I don't know what happened, but I didn't do this to you. I didn't make you into a monster. I don't know if you somehow did this to yourself, but I know I didn't do it. I haven't done anything to you. I haven't been part of your life for over three years, so there's no way that you can blame this on me. So just for clarity why don't you tell me how you went from being a vindictive bitch to a vampire?” Darius asked.
“Ha-ha…Oh, that's funny working in a nice little jab there, but I don't know. That might be the way you see it, but I think I might be able to find a way to relate what you did to me, to how we came here.” Allison glared.
“We've been over this. I'm not talking about that anymore. I never did anything to you other than try and help you. Whatever connection you think there is doesn't make sense. What happened to you? How did you turn into this?”
“Well… I guess I might as well let you know how your angel became a monster. Maybe after you hear it, you'll accept some responsibility for it. I don't know, but I might as well tell you. As you know, I've had a problem with alcohol and substance abuse like everyone keeps telling me, and like the therapist kept telling me when we were married, when we went to couples counseling… so it probably comes as no surprise to you that I had a really good time after our divorce.”
“I'm sure you did,” Darius said. unimpressed.
"Well, I did. Once I had all that money, and that house, all of the doors were opened to me. Everyone wanted to offer their sympathies for the end of our marriage, and so I had a free ticket into some of the highest-class parties, and of course you know the people I know through work wanted me to get out, because they didn't want me to stew at home alone, so I was invited to every party that came up. Of course, you know where there are wealthy and luxurious people, there are always some good high-quality drugs. I was doing a lot of coke, and I was having a lot of fun. I went to all of the best parties with socialites, politicians, business people, and movers and shakers; wealthy, famous… you name it. I had a lot of fun for a while there. It was great. Champagne, cocaine and young men willing to please a cougar like me. It was wonderful, but I guess I got a little out of control, I was using more and more coke and it started to become unseemly for the upper crust. I was soon finding myself not invited to all of those lavish parties anymore. I guess… you know… having a crying woman bleeding from her nose, causing a scene, sitting on your front steps, with her skirt hiked up, and her panties lost somewhere, kind of gets unsettling for the elite. So, I ended up falling out with that crowd. Even people at my work started acting strangely and treating me differently. I thought I was going to lose my job… I think I was fairly close. I had to start keeping my activities a little bit further on the down low. That was when I started looking into underground clubs, just shady ones where there were lots of cheap drugs available at first. I liked to party. I went to what passes for raves now… tried a little bit everything, did a lot of ‘E’ for a while, but that didn't last too long. I got bored with that scene and started looking for new clubs and new crowds… experimented with a little bit of everything, even got dosed with Special K a couple of times. Those were long nights, but the only sad thing about it was that those guys never had to drug me. I would have given myself to them if they had asked.”
Darius just looked at her disgustedly.
“Don't look at me like that! There's nothing wrong with an independent woman enjoying sex and sexual activity… which is why I guess my partying lifestyle eventually led me to some clubs with a bit of a kink. I just watched at first… bondage, leather and things. It was fairly tame in hindsight, fairly mild, but I made some friends in the underground BDSM scene. I started really enjoying and partying there, but I just couldn't find anyone willing to dominate me the way I wanted… as hard as I wanted. Eventually, some of my friends on the scene that were into bigger and hotter forms of fun introduced me to some bondage sex clubs. I watched the first night I went… all the people in leather and gags, doing all sorts of unspeakable things to each other. I admit it excited me, but I didn't want to jump in right away. At least I thought I didn't. I couldn't get over how excited it made me. By the following night, literally on night number two, I was sitting in the middle of a circle jerk, and sucking all manner of unknown cocks to me. Some I recognized as businessmen and bankers that I had seen in different places during the day; the other ones wore leather masks with zippered mouths, and I never knew who they were. But I knew that I finally felt like I had some value on my knees… with my tits exposed, and my skirt hiked up, showing all my wetness to the world. Letting people handle me, fondle me and feel the reward for my hard work. The proof of my value was running down my throat in a warm trickle. I became very popular with that scene pretty quickly. I made a lot of friends easily and when I did that, doors opened. Suddenly I was finding I had easy access to all manner of drugs whether I traded sex or money for them. There was nothing that wasn't available to me.
I made it a game. I started trying a different drug every night. Saturday I'd be tripping on LSD while doing my best impersonation of downhill skiing on a couch between two leather-clad men. Then Wednesday I'd be on magic mushrooms and seeing lizard men and strange Native American totems orgasming on my face. It wasn't long before I did my first couple tries of heroin. It felt great! I didn't enjoy the sex as much then, mostly because I wasn't totally there, but it gave me a sense of accomplishment and euphoria. I found value. I could finally feel something again. After you, I felt dead inside. That's what you did to me. You left me feeling dead inside, and I needed to do something to fill that void and to feel something, anything, any kind of emotion again.”
"Don't blame this on me!" Darius said. “I never did anything to you. You were free and clear to start your own life, a better life, you could have been happy. I didn't do anything to you. You chose to self-destruct. You chose to bury your regret, and your guilt and your sorrow in as many drugs as you could get your hands on, and you've never taken responsibility for it. You never have. That's you all over. Everyone else is responsible for your problems, but you. You have no responsibility. You take no responsibility. Everything that happens to you and everything you do is someone else's fault.”
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