A Woman in Search Of...

She crashed onto her bed and cried herself to sleep.

The next morning, Wendy went to Cindy’s and explained what happened. Within minutes of sitting with Cindy, Wendy began crying. “It was like he always was-mean, disrespectful and critical…she screwed up her face, he angered me like I’ve never been angry.”

“I’m so sorry. Please try to calm yourself.” Cindy held Wendy.

Tears continued to trickle down her checks.

Cindy pulled back. “I feel so sad myself. I was so hoping it would work out and he had changed.”

“It’s the realization that all along he wasn’t honest. He played me to get me back, but why?”

“You told me he said he loved you and realized how shamelessly he treated you. He seemed to want you back. Maybe that part was true. He did love you but for some reason what the waiter did set him off and he showed his true colors.”

“If that incident hadn’t happened and I went back to him, I know that some of his other negative traits would have returned. I told him good-bye.”

“I’m so mad at how he hurt you and caused you more pain.”

An hour later Wendy calmed down and left. She went to her backyard and sat in a chair admiring the beauty of her garden.

The next day at The Shade House, she walked around until she came to the window at the forest end where Elliott commented on the light in the window hitting the orchid. She thought about that first meeting with him and how wonderful he was to her, not just then but from then on. She loved him and he loved her, but she blew it with drugs and booze. She stared up at the window, ‘I still love you…sorry I was such an idiot. ’ Of course, the apology wasn’t really to Elliott. She went to the gazebo and sat. She wondered if there was a way to tell him what a fool she had been and how she had stopped the drugs. Would he be interested in trying again? She didn’t know how to contact him comfortably, and he may be with someone else. Her mind shut down and she went to help a customer.

At night she called Cindy and they discussed what Wendy wanted to do and how much she still loved Elliott.

Cindy didn’t hesitate, “I think you should try to find him and see if he’ll talk to you. He’s a great guy.”

“Should I call him?”

“Seems like the best way.”

“Okay, I will, thanks.”

When they hung up Wendy went to her comfy living room chair, put her foot up on the ottoman and let her mind wander. Thinking about making the phone call made her extremely nervous and thinking what his reaction might be made her fearful. She went to the kitchen phone and sat down at the table. She didn’t remember his number but pulled her address book from a counter drawer and stared at the page. ‘I have to do this, or I’ll regret it forever’ was what ran through her head.

She dialed. The phone rang and she started to hang up but then she heard his voice, “Hello.”

“Hi Elliott, this is Wendy.”

“Wendy, well, I’m surprised.”

“I don’t blame you. I was wondering if we could meet somewhere and talk.”

“Talk about what?”

“What a horrid person I was and how my terrible behavior made me realize I wasn’t living the life I really wanted.” She took a breath. “I was out of control.”

“Well, you can say that. You feel you’ve changed…how could I know if what you tell me is the truth?”

“I’d never lie to you…I didn’t in the past.”

“That’s true. Okay, I need to leave. I will call you back, bye.”

“Bye,” she said as she pulled the phone from her ear and set it down. She worried about the abrupt ending, maybe he was meeting someone, or maybe he didn’t know what to make of her confession and needed to think about it. All she could do was wait.

At the nursery she continued to think about Elliott and what he must have thought about what she said. Her thoughts got interrupted by a customer walking toward her holding a fern.

“May I help you?”