A Woman in Search Of...

“So, what’s going on?” Cindy asked as soon as Wendy came in.

“You have some wine?”

“Sure, hang on.”

Cindy returned from the kitchen with two glasses of Merlot.

They sat next to each other on the sofa.

“Thanks.” Wendy took a swallow.

“So?”

Wendy set the wine on the coffee table and turned to Cindy. “This is hard, and I feel completely weird telling you, but you said I should come to you whenever I didn’t know what to do about something, right?”

“Yes.”

“It isn’t exactly that but. . .”

“Get to the fucking point.”

“Brad and I…” She didn’t know how to say it…“the fucking point is, we fucked.”

“You and Brad?” Cindy sat upright.

Wendy nodded.

Cindy collapsed against the sofa, staring at Wendy finally sitting up. “That was the first time, or has he been screwing you all along, while screwing me, and you just didn’t tell me?”

“No, no. This was the first and only time. I was totally shocked when he asked, but Cindy…I have desired him for a very long time. I just never told you…I couldn’t. I loved him. At least I thought I did. He was the type of man I always wanted to love and be loved by. His talent, his body, his personality-I saw it all in Brad. He never showed any interest, but I just dreamt about him until two nights ago.”

“Wow! And all this time…you never talked about him except as a singer.”

“I couldn’t. He suddenly asked me. I know you feel he was part of the reason you left, but since you stopped seeing him…I hoped maybe we could talk about this. I didn’t want to be deceitful and not tell you. I’m sorry if this hurts. I didn’t want to be friends and keep it from you.”

“It’s okay. I stopped caring about him quite a while ago. I’m not mad, and I’m glad about you’re being honest.”

“At the ashram they talked about the importance of family, friends and kindness. I’ve been thinking about those things a lot.”

“Wow, tell me what the ashram was like?”

I enjoyed it immensely and like I said I learned a lot about people and letting go of hang ups and not freaking out over things I can’t control. I’m working on it.”

“Maybe someday we can go to one.”

“Sure, an amazing experience.”

“So, how did you like the sex?”

Wendy didn’t hesitate. “I didn’t.”

Cindy burst into wild laughter.

Wendy’s eyes widened and her face showed confusion.

“It’s okay Wendy. I never thought he was good either.” They both laughed.

Wendy told Cindy everything from when Brad asked her out to how the evening ended.

“He is the worst lover I’ve ever had,” Cindy admitted. “I think I so wanted to be one of his girls that I kept it up to feel important. Right after my job ended…I was, well, relieved I no longer needed to pretend he impressed me.”

“Oh, Cindy, I feel so much better. He was only interested in fucking, not in me. I was obsessed with him. Do you think he’s a nymphomaniac?”

“I’m not sure about that. I think he just needs to know he can have whomever he wants. It’s an ego thing.”

“What I don’t get is why did he ask me now? I haven’t changed anything about myself for ages.”