The next day Wendy invited Cindy for dinner so they could relax and catch up. Wendy missed the comfort of their friendship.
The lasagna was almost done. She turned the oven down and prepared the salad.
Cindy wasn’t expected for a while, so Wendy dropped into a living room chair and picked up the mail on the table next to her. After a brief examination, she tossed it back on the table and headed for her study.
She took out a peyote button and bit down on it. Twenty minutes later she floated down the hall into the kitchen and out the back door. In the silence, she heard crickets as she twirled on the patio and stepped onto the grass. She screamed at the sky, “Love you, beautiful stars, love me someone.”
A bright light went on next door and a creaky door opened, but Wendy was oblivious to them; nor did she hear the doorbell ring, or Cindy’s frantic knocking on the door.
Lying on the lawn in a drug induced stupor, Wendy was only vaguely aware of someone running over to her and yelling her name.
“Wendy, it’s Cindy. Wake up.”
Wendy blinked a few times, opened her eyes blinking several more times.
“Hold on. I’m going to get a wet towel.”
Cindy wiped Wendy’s face, but Wendy pushed the towel away.
“God, you scared the shit out of me. What happened to you?”
“Cindy, I…” Wendy realized she was lying on her lawn. She slowly sat up with Cindy’s help. “I’m not sure.”
“Let’s go inside.” Cindy steadied her as they moved through the kitchen into the living room. Cindy sat next to Wendy on the sofa.
“Now, tell me what happened.”
“I, uh. . .”
“Damn it, get it together, talk to me.”
“I’m not sure. I had a peyote button and felt great. I don’t know what happened.”
“You’re doing peyote? How long has this been going on? I thought you just did weed.”
“Just on peyote for a short while, a few weeks.”
“Are you stupid? You probably used too much.”
“I’m usually careful with how much. I just wanted more of a thrill. I talked to the sky, that’s what I remember. It was so beautiful up there.” She indicated the ceiling in the living room.
“That’s the problem with this shit. You’re probably hooked. You need to go cold turkey now. Where do you keep it?”
Wendy hesitated. “I need it. I experience such wonderful vibes…it’s transforming.”
“Where!” Cindy belted. If looks could kill the one Cindy shot Wendy would have done the job.
Wendy hung her head. “Bedroom and fridge.”
Cindy grabbed the bag on the dresser, and the container of the tea, and came back to Wendy. She shoved all of it in her face. “Either I flush this tea down the toilet and trash the buttons or I walk out of here, and I’ll have nothing more to do with you.” Wendy stared at her best friend. Pain filled Wendy’s eyes and her face flushed.
“Well?”
“I need it to help me get away from my mixed-up mind. It takes me somewhere else, to better times.” Wendy burst into tears.
Cindy put down the items and threw her arms around Wendy. “Why didn’t you tell me? We used to share so much, but you kept something inside tearing you up and didn’t tell me. This is a treacherous path you’re on.”
Wendy pulled back. “People have their own problems. With the conflict going on in my head I need to work through mine too.”
“Yeah, well, you aren’t succeeding, that’s apparent. Doing drugs doesn’t help with your problems, it adds to them. Now, am I getting rid of this stuff?” Cindy grabbed the items and stood, glaring down at Wendy.
Wendy shifted on the sofa. Her tears slowed as she looked up at Cindy. “You’re okay being here to help?”
“That’s what friends do best. Now, let’s hear what’s been eating at you. And don’t snow me with any crap,” she said sitting back down.
“It’s Scott. The talks we’ve had…he’s made some major changes with his job, his life, his attitude toward different things. And everything he said is what I wanted in him all along.
“So, what’s the problem?”
“I don’t know if I can trust him.”
“The question is, how do you find out the truth?”
“That’s what I’ve been obsessing over for so long. I can’t figure what to do.”
“I said it before, the only way is you go out with him and get to know the new Scott. See what your gut feelings are. I think you’ll know if he’s leveling with you after a few dates. I’d hold off on the sex, otherwise your emotions will rule before your head finds the answer.”
Wendy stood up and walked to the fireplace, looking down at the unlit logs. She turned to Cindy. “Of course, you’re right. I’m really nervous about the idea of dating him and being with him for any length of time.”
“Your other choice is to forget about him.”
“I’ve given that idea too. Wendy went back over to Cindy. “Should I just enjoy the single life and have fun and maybe try to meet someone new to be with?”
“You have choices.”
Wendy sat. “I know I have to decide. I can’t go on the way I have been.” Wendy agonized over her thoughts. “I do like this alternative lifestyle I’ve been living. But you’re right, of course, the drugs don’t give me any answers.”
“You could make a list of pros and cons before you make a final decision about Scott.”
“That was Dr. Lewis’ suggestion too,” although Wendy never did it. Wendy locked eyes with Cindy. She wanted to talk to Cindy about Brad too, but there wasn’t any way they could talk about Brad and remain friends, and her friendship meant so much more.
“Thanks Cindy. I needed someone else’s perspective. Your honesty has always been something I loved about you.”
“No problem. Trash all of it?” Cindy asked gesturing toward the peyote and tea in her hands.
Wendy didn’t hesitate, “Yes.” Cindy left soon after she disposed of the peyote and poured the tea down the toilet.
As Wendy crawled into bed, she tried to remember what she heard at the ashram about experience and gaining insight to help toward enlightenment. Maybe what happened to her on the lawn and what she learned at the ashram, were the experiences she needed to face Scott. She needed to take a chance but figuring out how to approach him was tough. She didn’t know the right thing to say that might bring them together in a new kind of relationship…a relationship filled with good times and kindness.
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