A Woman in Search Of...

“We’ll talk tomorrow. I’ll see. . .” She was out cold before he finished his sentence. He shook his head and left. In the morning Wendy squinted into the bathroom mirror and cringed. She turned on the faucet, wet and wrung out the washcloth, covering her face with it. As she dried her face she sighed. She again looked in the mirror. “God, I look like shit,” she said aloud. She swallowed two aspirin.

After her shower she felt alert and ready for a new day. She ate breakfast and afterwards headed for the nursery.

“You look awful,” was Carol’s greeting. “What happened?”

“Thanks loads,” Wendy said sarcastically as she threw her purse and a plaid, flannel shirt on the counter.

“Well, what happened?”

“Too much partying. Anything happen here I should know about?”

“Not really.”

“Okay.” Wendy went into the office and tossed her stuff on the chair. She went back into the nursery and stood against the counter, looking out at The Shade House.

Wendy worked her way around the nursery and sat on one of the benches near the forest area. She tried to remember exactly what happened the night before. She remembered she danced with some women and Elliott took her home, but her mind blanked out with whatever else happened. Wendy stood and strolled around the main path and went back to the office. After moving her stuff, she fell onto the chair, sitting forward as she perused the calendar. She checked to see her schedule for the week. She leaned back against the chair. “I’ve gotta get outta here,” she said disheartened.

She took her purse and shirt and walked out and around the counter. Not seeing Carol anywhere, she yelled, “Carol.”

Carol came out of the container area. “You called?”

“I don’t feel well, I’m heading home.”

“Sure, go veg out. Hope you feel like your old self soon.”

“Thanks,” and Wendy left.

When she got home, Wendy threw her stuff down and headed for the kitchen. She nibbled on part of a peanut butter sandwich she didn’t finish a couple of days ago. Afterwards she went into her backyard and worked in the greenhouse for a while. She returned to the house and headed to her study when the phone stopped her.

“Hi Elliott,” she answered him. “I’m sorry about last night, thanks for helping me.”

“We need to talk about it. May I come over?”

“Now?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

Wendy didn’t like the sound of his voice. She did a little fussing with her makeup and gave a quick comb through of her hair.

As soon as he arrived, they sat on the sofa facing each other.

Elliott began. “I think we are drifting in different directions.”

Wendy gasped, taken aback by his comment. “What do you mean?” “Your behavior lately has changed. You’ve changed.”

Wendy peered at him. “How do you mean?”

“For one thing, the pot smoking is bothersome to me even when you’re alone. And, last night, your drunken and stoned behavior embarrassed me. You’ve changed in a way I’m not comfortable with.”

Wendy winced. “I’m sorry. You seemed okay with my pot when I said I’d use it when you weren’t around, a compromise.”

“I know what I said then, but that, in addition to the intoxication, is making me see things differently now. I do care about you, but I need to let go.”

Wendy’s face flushed and she stiffened. “Won’t you even give me a chance…I can change?”

“You can’t change who you are, Wendy. This is hard for me too, but we need to face reality.”

Wendy couldn’t come up with a response. His mind was made up.

Elliott stood up and Wendy silently followed him to the door.

“I wish you the best,” he said as he opened the door.

She didn’t say anything, just stared, dumbstruck.

She watched as he closed the door behind him. She shuddered. Wendy didn’t know if she was angry at him, or herself. He was so indignant, not even offering her a second chance. In her bewildered mind, she realized that maybe he was right, they were too different. She liked her change. She looked out the living room window. Maybe his conservative outlook confused her about whether she loved him or not.