A Woman in Search Of...

At closing time Scott came in. Wendy wasn’t surprised to see him.

“Hi, Scott,” she greeted.

“Hi to you. How’ve you been?”

“Not too bad, but busy.”

“If you have time for dinner, I’d like to hear about it.”

Wendy didn’t know why but without hesitation she said, “I have time.” She wanted another opportunity to get to know him, to see if he was different, not so bossy, not critical of her. At least he wasn’t traveling like he used to. “Let me close up. I’ll take my car. Where should I meet you?”

“Is Russell’s okay?”

“Sure. See you there shortly.”

“Okay.” After Scott left Wendy turned off the fan in the office and all the switches as she exited.

Scott waited for her inside the entrance to Russell’s.

“So, why have you been so busy?” Scott asked as soon as they were seated.

The waitress came over and they ordered drinks and they each knew what they wanted for dinner. I’m busy at the nursery. It looks the way I visualized, so I’m happy. The woman working with me, Carol, is a great gal. And soon I’ll be displaying plants for a design company project at the Convention Center.” “That’s wonderful. For what it’s worth, I’m really proud of you.” Wendy’s face went blank. “You’ve never shared anything like that with me. Thank you, I appreciate it.”

“I wasn’t very good at saying those kinds of things. But I started to listen better to people at my jobs and learned more about myself.”

“Like what?”

“How others’ opinions are sometimes better than mine. I always thought mine were best.”

Wendy focused on his eyes. “I always thought you loved your old job.”

“I did for a long time, but things changed, and it started to bore me and became too competitive. The CEO never seemed to appreciate my work, so I quit.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“I don’t know. I wanted you to think I was macho,” he confessed.

“You didn’t need to prove anything to me.”

“I know that now. I was much different then, than I am now.”

“How?”

“I accept things with less tension, and I don’t get upset so much about things I can’t control.”

Wendy studied him for a moment. “Those are nice changes.”

“Thanks, I think so too.” Their drinks arrived and they sipped the Chablis they both ordered.

Wendy realized this conversation was the first time since the beginning of their marriage he shared this kind of information with her. She certainly saw a change in him. The question was, would he stay this way, or change again in a negative way. For that matter, was what he said real? She struggled with her emotions.

The waitress brought their dinners.

“You sound like someone I used to know.”

“What do you mean?” Scott asked as he took a swallow of the wine.

“You shared things with me when we dated and when we were first married, but suddenly everything changed. You didn’t share much, never had time for us. We started to argue about almost everything and you constantly criticized me.”

Scott leaned into her. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened to me except I became selfish. I hope I’ve changed.”

“It’s hard to tell right now.”

He reinforced his positive outlook, “I hope you will see the changes.”

She didn’t know what to say except, “Maybe.”

They ate silently for a few minutes until Wendy broke the tension. She told him how she was scammed at the Fireplace Grill.

“How terrible. You must have felt awful, and the financial loss must have hurt.”

“It did…it still does, but I’m handling it.”

He took her hand in his. “Good for you. I know it must have been tough.”

She casually pulled her hand back to pick up her fork. “It was.”

The discussions slowed as they finished their dinners.

When they left Scott saw Wendy to her car where they said their good-byes. There was no kiss, and she was relieved. She wasn’t ready for kisses to be part of what might be a new and improved relationship.

At home she watched the news, smoked part of a joint and floated off to sleep.