A Woman in Search Of...

In the afternoon Wendy did move five plants into larger containers and cleaned up the mess she made around the planter box. Her next step was to find new places for three of the plants that needed more room. She wandered around for a bit but eventually found good spots for all of them. She completed all she wanted to do and left feeling invigorated.

Three days later she met with Dr. Lewis.

“I haven’t seen you in a long time. How are things?” Dr. Lewis asked as she headed toward the coffee carafe. “Coffee?”

“No, thanks.”

Dr. Lewis put the coffee pot down and took her seat across from Wendy.

“Tell me, what’s on your mind?”

“A lot and it has me confused. First, I’ve been seeing a great guy, Elliott. He is so good and caring. I think he’s wonderful and…” Wendy paused.

“Go on.”

“I love him. He is supportive of everything I want and do whether it’s the nursery, weekend trips, whatever, he’s okay with it.”

“So, what’s the problem?”

“I’m not sure. I think he’s Mr. Right. It’s just my life has changed so much since I last saw you and I’ve had trouble figuring things out.”

“Explain, what things?”

“Well, I went into a diner business with my cousin, and it turned out the bartender scammed us, and we need to sell to make ends meet. I know it wasn’t my fault, but it angers me it happened.”

“I’m sure it does. I’m sorry. Time will ease the anger and the frustration you’re obviously undergoing.”

“I know. Also, I’ve worked periodically with a woman who designs house interiors and patios. She liked my nursery and hired me to help with patio and indoor plants. I love the challenge, but it put a lot of pressure on me with my business and hers.” Wendy ran right on. “And now there’s Scott. He’s re-entered my life. He seems different, more open now. He even has a new job where he doesn’t travel much and he’s playing golf, something he always wanted to do but never took the time. And, for the first time in, I don’t know how long, he complimented me, said I was sexy.”

The doctor’s eye lit up. “Well, there is a lot going on. I can understand your confusion. Let’s take one thing at a time.”

“First, I have to tell you two more things.”

Dr. Lewis put her pad of paper on the table next to her. “Go ahead.”

“I still want Brad. I’ve made many changes in my appearance as you’ve seen. I wanted to look good for Brad, Elliott and me. I want men to admire how sexy I look. I’ve never felt this way and I’m loving it. The second thing is I started to smoke pot. It helps me to relax.”

Dr. Lewis saw Wendy’s need to let go of intense emotions. “Would you like some water?”

“Yes, please.”

Dr. Lewis went to a counter, put a glass under the cooler where the water dripped down from the spigot and handed it to Wendy who took a sip.

“Let’s start with Scott. You’re having trouble deciding whether you trust him because you see changes you like but you’re fearful he hasn’t really changed. Right?”

“Yes.”

“I think to know the truth, you need to go out with him.”

“I know. I’m just scared of being hurt again.”

Dr. Lewis’ eyes were intense. “Do you still love him?”

“Wendy sat straight with a somber expression. “I still like things about him, and he has changed,” she sat back, “but I don’t know if I can trust him so to say I love him is premature.”

“I know this is hard for you, but there’s only one way to find out.”

Fine lines creased Wendy’s forehead. “I know.”

“Let’s talk about Elliott. You think you love him, but you’re not sure. What’s holding you back?”

Frustrated, Wendy stood and paced a little. Dr Lewis’ eyes followed her every step, but she remained silent. Wendy sat back down and struggled to explain, “I don’t know.”

“Wendy, just a thought, but maybe you’re holding back because you want things to work out with Scott. You’re torn.”

Wendy frowned. “I think you’re right. Elliott is so good. I can’t believe I have these mixed thoughts. What do I do?”

“I can only tell you that you should start by making contact with Scott to see what your feelings are for him and his changes. They must have been very strong at one time if you’re denying yourself Elliott.”

“We dated for two years before we got married and in all that time Scott was always kind and caring, but his changes a few months into our marriage were abrupt and disturbing. I’m just not sure I can trust these new changes. But you’re right about my need to go out with him.” “If Scott’s not what you think he is this second time around you’ll know if you should continue with him or not. As far as the marijuana issue, you’ll have to decide whether it’s making you feel better about yourself or if it’s an escape from dealing with the issues you’ve mentioned. Running away will never help. If you’re happy helping with the interior design and you can find the time, keep doing it.”

“I know, I know. Thank you. I needed to hear all of this.”

Wendy stood. Dr. Lewis put her arm around Wendy’s shoulders as they moved to the door.

“Thank you for being here for me.”

“Glad I could help you look at everything.”