A Woman in Search Of...

Two days later Wendy went to the appointment she made with Dr. Lewis. She wanted to talk about the nursery and Marty.

“Every day I go in something new is being worked on. The concrete coloring, the pathway rocks, and the finished façade in the front looks great.” “That’s wonderful. What are you calling it?” “The Shade House.” “That’s certainly appropriate. You must be under a lot of pressure to get it ready.”

“I am, but it satisfies me to watch it take shape.”

“Nice things are happening for you. It’s good to hear.”

“Thanks.” Wendy hesitated but decided in this session she’d share something more. “I wanted to talk to you about…well, criticism.”

“What about it?” Dr. Lewis asked. Wendy took a deep breath as she tried to relax the knot in the pit of her stomach. “When I first told Cindy about the nursery, she became critical of my taking it on. She meant it to be helpful, but it bothers me she saw me as unable to handle the responsibility. Criticism has always been difficult for me to deal with. As you know my dad was always critical as well as Scott. With so much happening I want to be able to handle anything coming my way without getting angry.”

“What do you see as the issue?” A thought buzzed in her head. “Well, as a kid, I never felt confident, always afraid of disappointing my parents. They were often critical of my choices. Now, I’d like to find some way to accept criticism and acknowledge, well…maybe I deserved some of it.” “Perhaps it would be helpful to think about whether what is being criticized about you is true, or not. You should be honest with yourself.” “Hmmm…I want to be. To tell the truth, I think I do a fair share of criticizing myself. I guess I need to think about others’ viewpoints before I criticize them for things I disagree with.” “Learning to accept peoples’ differences is important to all relationships. Your attitude is good.” After a pause Dr. Lewis asked, “Do you still go to hear Brad sing?” “Oh yes, and each time I go to Hoffman’s I want so much to talk to him, but I can’t. There’s no way I can do it comfortably, mostly because I don’t know what to talk to him about.” “It may come to the point where your primary concern is Cindy.” “I know. Cindy went to Brad’s house and described a beautiful home overlooking the beach. It thrilled her.”

“How did it make you feel?”

“I was happy for her, but I wished it was me.”

“I would be remiss if I didn’t repeat if Brad starts to like you, you’re going to find yourself in a difficult position.”

“I know. I have been thinking about the list with the pros and cons of everything like you suggested. I’d never do anything to hurt Cindy, so Brad may remain only a vision to see and hear. I do have something else to tell you.”

“What is it?” It’s about a man I met at Hoffman’s. His name’s Marty. We talked for a while on the deck just outside of Hoffman’s, a quiet place to talk without music and all the people rambling about…anyway, he seems very nice. He took my phone number.”

“Well, that’s wonderful. How do you feel about him?”

“I’m not sure. He was interested in talking to me and he asked for my phone number so there must have been something he liked about me. He’s an attorney for a large corporation called Hilstrom.”

“I’m not sure why you made the comment about something he liked about you.”

“Well, I know it isn’t my figure, so I’m curious what he saw in me.”

“You have good qualities. Do you think about those?”

She shrugged, “Not really.”

“It might be a good idea to give them some thought. Maybe Marty will work out for you.” The doctor looked at the clock next to her. “Sorry, our time’s up. You have some good things going for you.” Dr. Lewis stood.

Wendy did the same and moved toward the door. “I know. I’ll concentrate on those.”

“Hope you have a good week.”

“Thank you.”

Wendy headed home thinking about what Dr. Lewis said about her good qualities. She never really gave them much thought. All she knew for sure, she was a caring person. Marty’s interest in her made her want to understand what interested him in her.