Stop Poisoning Your Marriage

If you really loved me, I wouldn't have to tell you what I want.

That sounds kind of familiar. What is this mistake exactly and what should people do instead?

Laurie: Oh, this is just an incredible thing that people to do each other. They say, “You should be able to read my mind. I've been looking all my life for somebody who could read my mind and I thought you were it.”

Jonathan: Just like my mother, she knew what I wanted.

Laurie: Except she didn't really.

Interviewer: And you can't marry her.

Laurie: Right.

Jonathan: Lord knows we try, without thinking about it very clearly.

Interviewer: What's the advice for someone who hears that, and then what is the advice for someone who says that? Because I think we really have to address both sides of this issue.

Jonathan: Sure.

Laurie: Well, the advice for somebody who says that you should know what I want, should think about going into a restaurant with a waitress and saying, “Well, you should know what I want.” And, the waitress just bringing what she thinks.

Instead of doing that, ask for what you want and you're much, much more likely to get it because most partners are quite happy to supply what's wanted. They just don't know what it is.

Jonathan: If you're on the receiving end of that, it's important to say,