Chapter 4:
Play

36. Play together in silly ways. Blow bubbles; finger paint with chocolate pudding on the kitchen table and lick it off; splash each other; sing.

37. Enjoy touching each other in both sexual and non-sexual ways. Enjoy is the important word—it means you must communicate about what is pleasurable and what is not.

38. Laugh together. Share the jokes or cartoons that make you grin, rent a funny video, or remember the stories about funny things (especially in retrospect) you’ve experienced together.

39. Schedule time to play together. Keep a list of activities you each consider fun. Take turns choosing an item from the list and do it.

40. Walk, hike, or plant flowers together. Being outdoors, even to do “work,” makes most people feel happy.

41. Take a mini-vacation. Go away for the weekend, or for an hour or two, with minimal planning, just because it seems like a good idea.

42. Organize the activities you are most interested in doing. If your partner agrees to accompany you to a concert or sporting event you particularly want to attend, you get the tickets.

43. Challenge your partner to resolve a problem with a squirt bottle duel at ten paces. If the situation is really serious, try aerosol whipped cream (at three paces) instead.