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Laurie Weiss
a book bubble about
Letting It Go
Self-Help
Author Insight
Are You Suffering Unnecessarily?
You can’t escape pain, you’re human! You’re designed to have pain as a warning system that something is wrong and needs attention. That’s a critical tool for survival. Sometimes you can fix the pain immediately, like taking your hand off a hot surface or telling someone to stop insulting you. Sometimes you can’t stop the pain that easily. You lose your job, and it takes months to find another. You have a chronic illness that persists despite medical attention. When you focus on that pain, or even on a past hurt, and replay it instead of finding a way to move on, your energy gets stuck in a pattern of suffering. You may have seen others replaying pain and learned to suffer by imitating them, or you may have discovered the pattern accidentally when you were a child. It may be a new thought that SUFFERING IS OPTIONAL. It really is. To end it, you need to change the familiar pattern and find something more useful to do with your energy. When I first encountered the process, I was so awed at how quickly it allowed me to change my own patterns that instead of retiring from my 40-year psychotherapy practice, I had to learn more about it. As I learned, I practiced, taught others to use it, and eventually wrote “Letting It Go.” I quickly learned to reclaim my energy instead of replaying pain and suffering unnecessarily. You can too. It’s amazingly easy. Start now.
Book Excerpt
Letting It Go
Trigger: Replaying a Recent Memory
Here’s another example, a story, of someone replaying a memory of a recent event.
Yvonne invited her daughter and son-in-law to an expensive restaurant to celebrate his birthday. Instead of ordering entrées and desserts as she had expected, they each ordered several expensive appetizers, along with their entrées and desserts. A lot of the extra food was left uneaten, on the table.
She felt angry and taken advantage of, but couldn't figure out what to do about the situation. She replayed it in her mind over and over again, and complained to friends, "I just can't get it out of my head."
Yvonne’s answer to question one was “this scene that is stuck in my head.” Her answer to what happened just before she replayed the scene was that she felt angry because she had been taken advantage of. Feelings are normally temporary and don’t make good triggers. Her trigger was “this belief about how they should have behaved at the restaurant.”
After she completed the sentences with this trigger she said calmly, “I won’t be inviting them to any more meals in expensive restaurants.”
Trigger: A Common Problem: Public Speaking
Here is an example of a common problem.
Tim had just taken a new position as a manager. He was terrified about being required to give a presentation to four people at work. As he struggled to prepare it, he kept thinking about the time he forgot his lines in the school play and how embarrassed he was that day.
Tim knew the answer to the second question and his trigger was “this image of forgetting the lines in the play.” After dissolving this image he was surprised that he actually enjoyed preparing and making his presentation.
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