Reflections of Joy: Learning to Love the Woman You See While Becoming the One You're Meant to Be

Other clients were so fixated on a number that they would throw their hands up, waving the white flag of surrender. They would return to their old habits because "nothing works anyway."

The part of this that makes me sad is that they were changing. I could see it in the number of reps before failure, with increased time in a plank, with the bagginess of their workout shirt- but they didn't give themselves time and didn't have the unedited Day One photo stored in their memory.

When I was twenty, I worked full-time. I didn't have time to exercise, and I often ate fast food during breaks at work. I remember stepping on the scale the day Mom and I shopped for a wedding dress. I hadn't exercised regularly in a few years but was happy with my weight and size. Fast forward twenty-five years. I exercised four to five days a week and ate unprocessed, whole foods ninety percent of the time. I weighed thirty pounds more than I did in my twenties and wore a smaller size. 

The point of this is to illustrate the scale doesn't tell you the whole story. I could be happy at age forty-five about the way I looked and the way my body performed, or I could have beat myself up if the number on the scale was higher than in the past.

The way you feel about yourself makes all the difference in your success. Since I abandoned daily weigh-ins and chose to focus on non-scale victories (NSV), my body is changing. Somehow, choosing happiness and gratitude is impacting my weight. 

No, I don't believe I can will away weight with a smile and a song in my heart, but choosing movement, food, and activities that bring me joy makes me want to return to them again and again. Habits are falling into place because I'm finally enjoying the process rather than focusing on my heart rate, number of steps, or calories consumed.

One of the most rewarding parts of my job was meeting people I wouldn't normally come in contact with. Many would join because a friend had shared their success, and they would show up ready to make some changes! They would share their stories and frustrations throughout the challenge and trust me to help them. 

Nothing was better than seeing the scowls and tears that accompanied my new friends on the first day turn into smiles and sass by day thirty and into confidence and pride by day sixty when I took their "after photos."

Early in my career, shortly after opening the gym, a lovely, quiet woman and her daughter signed up for the challenge. They worked out together, and I'd often catch the athletic teen encouraging her mom on the bag, a smile here or an eye roll there. I'm unsure who wanted to sign up and who came along for moral support, but they worked together like best friends. 

As was the case with many interrelated pairs, one liked to work out, and the other liked to cook. Mom was formerly a teacher who chose to stay home and raise her children. She often talked about her loving husband and great kids, and why she wanted to become more fit. She was a planner, which worked out great for her daughter, who benefitted from having a workout partner who also cooked for the family. Amy was a faithful journaler and recorded more than her meals, creating a historical account of her nine-week challenge.

I had the privilege to be one of her coaches, so I was privy to the transformation that occurred throughout her challenge. She went from setting weight goals to experiencing real-life body changes, and it was so much fun to watch! The following is from a food journal entry I saved because it inspired me so much; some may have thought 'only nine pounds", but as she wrote this, she was starting to see a difference in her body.

"I checked my weight today, and I was at XXX, which is a total of 9 lost so far. I wore my dress slacks to church on Sunday and decided I needed to go down a size because I had to pull them up constantly. So I am down one size in my jeans and my dress slacks woo hoo! As much as I would love to see that "unimportant number" on the scale go down faster for as much work as I think I am putting into this, I am definitely seeing a difference in my body size, and I am very happy with that."

Later entries would mention the realization that health benefits were surfacing and excitement about seeing her before photos. She knew she was changing even if the number on the scale wasn't dropping as much as she hoped. She worked hard to listen to my warnings to keep fueling the fire; she ate when she was hungry, even on the days the scale didn't honor her hard work with a drop.

She had incredible results and surpassed all her goals except for one. I don't have to tell you which one; she missed her weight-loss goal by less than five pounds, but her results confirmed what I already knew- the scale is nothing but a tool to measure mass. It doesn't measure strength, health, mood, or pant size!

She walked into the challenge party looking like a completely different woman. She was beautiful the day I met her, but the woman who showed up that night was striking, confident, and satisfied. She was a winner before I called her name, and she solidified the value of non-scale victories for me for the first time as a coach.