Reflections of Joy: Learning to Love the Woman You See While Becoming the One You're Meant to Be

I’ve been stuck this week, but today, mid-shower, as the shampoo was running down the drain, my fog lifted, and I realized how well my ideas work together. 

I repeatedly heard, “Be careful what you pray for…” 

In all of my hardest times, I prayed for what I wanted, and when my answer didn’t come the way I wanted, I made it happen myself.  

“I’ll show you,” surfaced again and again as I rushed into so many life-altering moments. I’ve depleted my savings and wasted time I should have spent with my boys. I pushed my husband away when his help and guidance could have made many things better and more sustainable. 

As I dive deeper into my relationship with God, I find myself trying to listen, which requires so much patience. Of all my skills, listening, followed by patience, are the ones I need to work on the most.

I think about the life-changing moments that could have gone differently:

Teenage rebellion

Quitting college

Marriage

Divorce

Quitting my job

Opening a business

Closing a business

The list goes on and on and on. I know God was always with me, but I’m pretty sure I had my earbuds in to drown out His whispers of patience, common sense, and purpose.  

What if I would have prayed for clarity and waited? Or if I would have prayed for counsel and listened? Would I be in a different place today?

I believe I did good things, but I also know I could have done better if I’d stashed my ambition and pride in the trunk, allowing the Spirit to drive while I rode shotgun once in a while.

I’m trying to be more mindful of what I pray for; I still ask for things I want, but I’ve tried to open my heart, asking for guidance and patience when I receive the answers I didn’t expect.

Wading In: 

Do you have unanswered prayers? 

Deep Dive: 

Explore an answer you weren’t expecting.