Reflections of Joy: Learning to Love the Woman You See While Becoming the One You're Meant to Be

Who Are You?

Millions of women pray for weight loss. Most have no idea about the emotional changes that come with physical change. They just want to feel pretty, skinny, sexy… loved.

They diet and exercise, and soon they fit into smaller clothes, then sexier clothes. People pay attention to them. Suddenly, they are no longer invisible.

Sadly, most women aren't prepared for the changes in their relationships, and they have no way to clear their memories of the hurtful things they've felt or heard.

It's incredible what people say with their eyes when you're overweight and then with their mouths when you get skinny. It's even more incredible what you can't forget.

Hundreds of new members walked through my door each year when I ran my gym. Many of those were challengers. If you participated in our nine-week program, you would take before and after photos to be eligible to win the grand prize. 99% of the time, I took the photos, and even though I had endured my own pictures on more than a couple of occasions, I still felt anxious for the person in front of my lens.

  I would do my best to make them feel comfortable: 

"Hi, I'm Kim! This will go quickly, I promise! Stand like this *click*. Turn like this *click*. Now, like this *click*. Good! You're done!" 

Some challengers joked with me, some hinted at a smile with teary eyes, and others wouldn't look at the lens; they fixed their gaze on a phantom spot on the wall. Almost all of them would share how awful they thought they looked or mused about how disappointed they were about letting themselves go. I can't recall a single time when someone said: "Thanks, I can't wait to see these."

Many women refused to take pictures. They weren't in it for the competition. They were simply looking for better health. I understood but also encouraged them to take photos and measurements for themselves simply because you can't look in the mirror and take an accurate snapshot of what you look like at a specific moment in time. 

Competition or not, you deserve to see your accomplishments after a period of hard work.

  When the last challenger had been photographed, I would take the memory card out of the camera and store it away, waiting until the last week of the challenge to download and crop. I'm still amazed at the changes that occur when someone chooses good food, regular movement, sleep, and friendship. 

  We would record markers such as weight and body fat during initial testing and chart specific measurements. We'd also test performance on push-ups, sit-ups, and a mile walk/run. Finally, I handed out a questionnaire that asked for basic information and guided clients to reflect on several questions, including the following:

What do you do for fun?

What kind of music do you like?

 What are your favorite foods and drinks?

What are three things you love about yourself?

What are three things you'd like to change?

 What are your goals for the next several weeks?

 In 90% of the questionnaires, one line was always left blank. Can you guess which one?

  Based on my experience, it was the same one I left blank on my first challenge and the same one you didn't answer:

What are three things you love about yourself?