When God Says NO ...

Within When God Says NO is a highly personal journey that starts with the death of my 19-year-old son Frank. It travels through much of my life, revealing joy and heartache.

When Frank died, four gifts landed on my doorstep.

The first was the gift of renewal and embracing of the newness of life, of purpose—it got me in touch with who I am and what my values are. It taught me how important my voice was and is; and why it is essential to stand up and be counted; to reach out, no matter how hurt or angry I feel.

The second was the gift of a renewal of spirituality. It had taken a backseat in my life for too long … always there lingering, but rarely acknowledged on my part.

The third gift celebrates my “little kid” spirit and keeps it in drive. I was and am willing to work hard … as long as I can find a fun stream within it. Somehow, I will find the humor of a situation.

And the fourth? The fourth gift was one that had carried me from birth. Sometimes subtly; at other times like a roaring wind. Often, not an awareness of it, yet it was there. And a label for it that didn’t drop into my consciousness until much later in my living where I could identify it. The fourth gift was resilience. It’s the gift that keeps on giving … A Yes to the Noes.

Each of these gifts was wrapped from the yeses, the maybes, and the noes that life has and will deliver.

No matter what your faith, there is a Truth within it. Each religion has elements of great goodness, kindness and caring … Be true to it.

I’ve had enormous success … and enormous failures. But, to me, I have had an amazing life that reminds me of the English gardens that I love—a wide array of flowers, shrubs, and trees; of colors that are dazzling; a whisper that there are surprises within; and a promise of calmness.