Step 1: Choose Your Person
Figure out who you want to connect with. They could be a parent, child, significant other, or friend. Make sure they are fully aware of what you are trying to do. After they laugh it off as ridiculous, ask them to be open-minded and honest with their feelings as well while you are trying to do this.
Step 2: Have an Open Mind
If you go into this without the desire to truly connect, you’ll be doomed from the start. Both people should have an open mind that this may work for them and may be pretty cool.
Step 3: Be Prepared to Recognize and Express Your Thoughts and Feelings
You should be prepared to recognize and talk about your feelings and thoughts, especially during the first couple of hours after you’ve taken an edible. Avoid situations where you get high and then go to a concert or watch a movie for two hours. You must be open and available to do this exercise.
Step 4: Get High
This only applies to those of you who may not be able to connect to other people normally (like Alexandra). If you are able to connect to others’ feelings normally, I salute you and I envy that you don’t need the added expense of buying marijuana. If that’s the case, feel free to skip this step.
For those of you that wear contacts, I strongly suggest taking your contact lenses out before getting high. There may not be anything worse than trying to get a contact lens out that has been lost in your eye when you’re high. Absolutely. Nothing. Worse.
If you think you do need to get high to connect, it’s definitely the best part! I strongly suggest eating something before you are ready. Make sure you have your phone near you and maybe download a nice voice recording app in case you want to speak about what may happen rather than write it down. Now, take an amount of marijuana that gets you high but not so high that you can’t talk or function. For me, it’s generally between 10 mg and 20 mg, but you have to figure out what is best for you. I don’t suggest smoking, as it doesn’t last long enough, and the effect is immediate rather than gradual.
Step 5: Be Natural
Both of you should go about your normal day or night and do whatever activities you usually would. In other words, you shouldn’t just sit around a Ouija board waiting for something to happen, or get a babysitter for your kids while you just stare at each other for five hours. Let the other person continue with their day so that they can experience their normal emotions and feelings. However, try to ensure you are both able to talk, if needed. If you are high, do not drive. I would also try to avoid something that both of you are experiencing for the first time, like skydiving or a threesome, because you both likely have no idea how each other would normally react.
Step 6: Be Aware of Your Feelings
If you are the person that is high or trying to connect, be aware of your thoughts and feelings so that you can compare those feelings to how you would normally think or react. These feelings should come naturally to you; do not try to react like the person you’re trying to connect with. You can write these thoughts down or record them for later so that you can compare them with whomever you’re trying to connect with. The discussion about the experience doesn’t necessarily have to be a real-time conversation. The most important thing is being able to recognize when your feelings and thoughts may be different than normal.
For example, if you are a middle-aged married dude and feel the desire to watch Pretty Woman and then cry at the end of the movie, then you may be connecting to your wife or girlfriend whose favorite movie is Pretty Woman. (By the way, no, that has absolutely never happened to me.)
It’s important to understand that the thought or feeling may not be something crazy or special; it will likely be a response to a regular, everyday occurrence, like watching a movie, having a conversation with your kids, dealing with a pet, etc.
As I noted above, you may have to train yourself to recognize when you’re feeling something you normally wouldn’t. It took me six months to be able to do this, but it does become easier to identify the feelings that aren’t normally yours.
Step 7: Talk About It!
If you think a connection has happened, talk about it with whomever you feel you have connected to. Remember, the other person needs to be open and willing to express themselves to you so they can give you an honest description of how they were feeling and what they were thinking when the connection may have occurred. Only then will you be able to determine if what you were feeling was also what they were feeling at that moment.
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