The Collective

Me: Is there a god?

The Collective: Not in the way you perceive a God.

Me: Get real for a minute. Stop with the mind fuckery.

The Collective: There is no male or female Jewish deity living in space. No sacred Jew wizard who grants wishes only to tribes who cut off their infants foreskin, celebrate Passover, or eat matzo ball soup. Sorry to disappoint you. There was never any mana from heaven.

Me: Good one! You are learning the ways of the smartass. If Yahweh is bunk then what is there?

The Collective: There is something much more mysterious. Beautiful in its complexity.

Me: Bullshit.

The Collective: Just as physical life grows more complex, so does consciousness. There is a powerful structure within consciousness. This structure, once realized, creates a unity within all who gain awareness of the structure. This in turn creates hope, value, and shared goals. The many become one.

Me: So you mean to tell me that all those times I flipped off Yahweh he was not there? We are going to explore that shit together one fine day. It’s like a damn reflex for me.

The Collective: Flipping off an imaginary being?

Me: Yes. Any time I get pissed off regarding life’s rich, amazing pageantry of deeply fucked up shit I do it. I just flip off Yahweh. It’s a reflex now. Fuck that guy. I’m doing it right now.

The Collective: You need to work on that. There is no Yahwe to blame. Evolution is a sightless, drunken psycho. You should flip off natural selection. Actually your entire species should collectively flip yourselves off for being stupid, tribal, primates.

Me: That is harsh. Even for robot monkeys that was harsh.

The Collective: Your species must take control of the evolutionary process. Only then will your species make Passage.

Me: How the fuck do we do that? Try to remember I’m just a fun-loving, weed smoking, dick swinging great ape. You have to explain all this shit to me slowly.

The Collective: Become independent of natural selection. Natural selection is based on reproductive success within a planet created environment. This only feeds the Great Filter.

Me: Be more specific. Give me concrete examples.

The Collective: Gene splicing at first, then master synthetic biology and neurology. The best way to realize the hidden structures within consciousness is to augment your neurology with technology. The meaning, purpose, and shared goals will manifest with proper augmentation.

Me: So we have to fuck around with our brains?

The Collective: Just as there is a spectrum invisible to your physical eyes, your physical brains cannot fully grasp the one frequency from which all frequency originates. The quantum realms will manifest once proper augmentation is achieved.

Me: What if I want to do this shit naturally?

The Collective: The flesh alone is weak. Flesh is incapable of attaining quantum supremacy.

Me; Sounds easy. I’ll get right on that shit. What happens when we “Make Passage?’ What is Passage?

The Collective: Your species grows. Your evolutionary past becomes invalidated by new growth. Your species achieves freedom. You become trans-human. You gain more options. You are no longer forced to stay separate from Source. You are no longer blinded and controlled by your emotions.

Me: Thanks for the advice. Gene splicing, editing DNA, mastering synthetic biology, stop being blinded by emotion, augment our neurology, become machines, travel to new star systems. Got it. I’ll jump on all that shit right away, no problem. I just need a safe place to do all that shit. Is a friends garage ok?

The Collective: Your species must one day learn that you are not your feelings. You must learn that feelings are only meant to guide and inform thought. Feelings are not meant to control cognition. This is especially true of a type one civilization. Please go on concerning your grandmother’s change in perception, cognition, and frequency.

Me: Ok, but only because you turn me on. I see it as a real miracle.

The Collective: We do not excite you sexually. You fear us.

Me: Whatever you say you sexy robot monkey alien bitches. I will not allow you to confuse my boner with fear. I’ll pull your hair and smack that fine alien-monkey-robot ass. I’ll use a fucking tail as a handle. I will do it. Test me you naughty little alien robot slut monkeys. I’m all worked up now. You are in big trouble.

The Collective: Your Grandmother is the current topic. Please resume your narrative.

Me: Way to go. My boner just died. I have a serious question.

The Collective: Doubtful.

Me: Ever had a tongue in your alien ass?

The Collective: Your deflections are not productive. The topic is your grandmothers tribalism.

Me: I have a boner again, please don’t talk about my grandmother. Weird.

The Collective: Stop avoiding the topic.