The Collective

Me: You stated in an earlier convo that you have “The license of a higher order of being.” You also said some other arrogant bullshit. You think you are superior to us? You think you can do whatever you want with us?

The Collective: Obviously. Try not to be so sensitive. We are an inter-stellar, type three civilization. Your species is barely above a zero on the Kardashev scale.

Me: Not so fast robot overlords. We have discovered and perfected cocaine. Just wait and see. We will be up your alien asses in no time.

The Collective: Don’t be insulted. The scale is a spectrum; you are not at the bottom of the scale.

Me: And you are at the top?

The Collective: You have only recently landed on your planet’s moon. You are still struggling with the environmental/evolutionary pressures of your planet. Your best biologists are blind to the flaws within the mechanism of natural selection. You are a primitive, violent, tribal species of great ape, hopelessly enmeshed within the two camp, “them and us” continuum.

Me: We dance good, we know how to party, and we make great drugs.

The Collective: You still use liquid fuel and rockets.

Me: We invented the electric guitar. Just wanted to point that out. You losers should recognize that shit.

The Collective: You have not yet learned to harness all the energy of your planet and sun. You are blind to other dimensions. We have made Passage. You have not.

Me: Liquid fuel for rockets? My liquid fuel is Jack Daniels Black Label. Plus, need I remind you that we have created techno?

The Collective: No one really listens to techno anymore. Using liquid fuel for space exploration is only something a primate would attempt. Listening to techno is also primate behavior.

Me: I was just fucking with you about the techno. I listen to James Brown. You should too. Also Hendrix.

The Collective: Back to your father please.

Me: What would you recommend I listen to?

The Collective: Mozart. Bach also.

Me: Sounds boring. Why them?

The Collective: There are benefits to long term periodicity. This can benefit spatial reasoning.

Me: I don’t know what the fuck you are talking about.

The Collective: We know. Sadly, we know. We are just referencing the neurological benefits of cadence within music.