Lavender Rose

Haven has looked up, watching me with a kind of fear on her face. My mother frowns, and grabs me by the arm. “I said go clean your room. And finish your homework, too. Dealing with you is impossible.”

If my mother had agreed to medicate me, it’s likely I wouldn’t have said anything to this. I guess she had it coming. “And I said no! If this is anyone’s fault, it’s yours! You’re the one who left nine-year-olds by themselves in New York City! That’s some A+

parenting, Mom.” I’m glad Larkin isn’t home. Knowing she’s out with my dad makes me feel better about screaming at my mother.

125

I already know my mother can’t stand me, which means I have nothing to lose. She takes a step toward me, hoisting herself up, like I’m supposed to be intimidated by her.

“You little asshole, that is not how you speak to your mother! Do you know what I’ve sacrificed for you? Do you have any idea how hard it is to raise five children?”

My father isn’t home yet. When he arrives, he’ll probably take my mother’s side. He always does. I snort. “Yeah, because I’m the one who told you to have five kids. You know the world doesn’t revolve around you, right? You know you’re not the only person with problems? Maybe if you weren’t such a cunt all the time, you wouldn’t have as many problems-”

Haven has disappeared. I’m glad. She shouldn’t have to deal with any of this. My mother does something she’s never done before. She slaps me, hard, across the face. It stings. Then she laughs, shrill and startling as if she’s losing her mind. Maybe she is.

Maybe she never had one to lose in the first place. “Fuck you,” I say, and run from the kitchen.