The Yummy Marriage

Conflict Is Inevitable

All couples have conflicts and disagreements at one time or another. It is not the differences between spouses that are most important—it is how they negotiate their different desires.

It may be hard to believe, but a threatening situation can become an opportunity for growth and positive change. Many couples find that a well-resolved conflict actually brings them closer to each other. It builds trust, opens up lines of communication, and makes their marital bond even stronger than before.

However, in order to grow from conflict, you need to be able to handle the conflict in a healthy, productive manner. Just as physical pain can be a warning message that something is wrong with your body, difficulty in handling conflict and disagreements may be a warning sign that something needs to change in your marriage.

 People tend to be passive or aggressive in dealing with conflict. They either avoid things and shut down or get loud and angry. They fight, flight, or freeze. Being assertive without being aggressive when you disagree is a skill worth learning and applying. It’s also important to choose your battles carefully and wisely.

In other words: What is worth discussing? What is worth fighting for? What should simply be left alone? Sometimes OK is OK, and good enough is good enough.