the Wisdom to know the difference.”
Unfortunately, reciting a prayer does not guarantee you can put it to work in your life.
I alternated between extremes in behavior, fasting for a few days and then gradually
adding a meal, until I was eating three meals a day with no in between snacks but stuffing
as much as I could into those three meals. They always ended with a desert. Feast or
famine. No sensible portion control.
My compulsion to eat for personal and momentary contentment continued. As did my
guilt and misery.
One of the most painful memories I recall was rising from bed at one o’clock in the
morning and driving to an all-night convenience store for a box of ice-cream bars. I left
the girls sleeping alone in the house and never gave a thought to my not being there in the
event they should wake up and call out for me. Fortunately, I made it home safely before
that could happen. I gobbled down the entire box of bars and finally returned to my bed
still feeling hollow and forlorn.
Food from the grocery store does not satisfy the soul. The soul needs spiritual food.
My behavior showed a total lack of self-control that brought nothing but dejection. I
hated myself. I adored the girls and knew I was a good mother. How could someone so
blessed be so destructive in her personal life?
I came up with a new set of reasons. Ones I used with great success to elicit
understanding, rather than criticism, from friends and family who fretted silently and with
carefully constructed verbal suggestions. For instance, I needed to be healthy and strong
to handle household chores; if I were thin; I wouldn’t have the needed stamina and would
be more prone to catching viral illnesses. Or, I subconsciously used my size as a
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