Learning How to Fly

There are many talented people in this world who had a dream, pursued it passionately, with persistence and hard work, but never reached their ultimate goal of success and recognition.

All I ever wanted out of life was to be a working actor. Since grade school I knew that was where my talent lay and was what would make me happy. When I finally moved to Los Angeles, I would have happily lived by myself in my tiny apartment in Studio City for the rest of my life if only I were granted my wish of earning my living as an actor and never having to get a “real” job ever. The possibility of failure was so unthinkable, so horrifying that I would rather have died if by age 40 I still hadn’t “made it.”

What I didn’t know then was that even though my passion was acting and it was all I ever wanted to do, my real mission in life was actually still out there, somewhere, waiting for me – a mission that would make my life meaningful in a way acting would not. When this calling suddenly appeared and kept hitting me square in the face, time after time, I resisted like crazy. This mission was difficult; it was an impossible challenge but finally there was relief in giving in. And yes, it may be frustrating not to be working constantly as an actor, but I wake up every morning knowing I have a God-given purpose in life.

For all of you who may think you have fallen short of your goals, don’t give up on them, ever, and know that there is something important you are  supposed to contribute to this world. Depression sometimes may threaten to overwhelm those of us who have a fervent unfulfilled ambition, be it in the arts or elsewhere, but we can move through that, knowing that as human beings we are here to not only make our own lives happy and rewarding but to share our talents for the greater good.

This is not an autobiography that details every single thing that has happened in my life (which would be of no interest to anyone but my friends and they know everything anyway). Experiences that helped shape me but would reveal personal things that would hurt innocent people by being exposed, I left out. They can tell their own stories if they wish. This is a blueprint of sorts to show you that if someone as singularly focused and fanatically dedicated to her goal as I was can find the way to a special little niche in this world, anybody can. It’s in your heart already. Just listen and do it.