F*ck the Bucket List for the Soul

Many of us are now starting to realize that we’ve been living inside a box with invisible prison walls that have been constructed through years of societal conditioning of how life should be, or self-inflicted by our own belief systems and stories. More and more people are silently experiencing an increasing desire to break free from this box and the fear it keeps us chained to.

For many, it’s hard to admit how imprisoned we are by fear. Fear of being judged by others, of not having enough, or of not being good enough. Yet those we fear, who criticize us, are also often incarcerated by their own fears and shadows. It takes courage and curiosity to break free from the walls manufactured by society and discover who we truly are outside these structures. Our mind collects and stores memories, containing a virtual file cabinet filled with our deepest disappointments and failures. Many of us find ourselves deeply attached to these disappointments.

The impressions of everyone and everything that has ever disappointed us is not only locked within us, but also keeps spinning inside us. We have been conditioned to base our lives and futures on our stories of disappointment and our deep failures. I learned in a voice and speech class I took as part of my early theatre training that many of these emotions and traumas are locked inside our physical body. A practitioner who understands trauma can unlock some of our most painful experiences by finding the spot in our back where we have locked our emotional pain away. I had this happen when I was in a session and not only experienced the physical pain but also the deep release of memories. It was surreal when I heard the practitioner tell me how she saw me as a young child experiencing war. At the time, I rarely talked about it publicly and kept it hidden inside of me.

Some of us are not aware that we carry these burdens in our shoulders, necks, and backs everywhere we go. We can only release them by doing inner work and deep body work like massage—starting by becoming aware of the deeply rooted programming we’re carrying inside and choosing to release it. Flour doesn’t become bread without yeast helping it rise and forming through a little heat.

Notice how your body reacts. Do you relax and immediately feel at ease to engage in conversation, or do you become guarded and reserved? Your intuition will signal to you that you are in a healthy place or it will feel artificial and you will know it. You’re hardwired and have the ability to listen to your own intuition.

The time is now to pause and reflect on the opportunities that are right in front of you. Every time you interact with another person—be it a stranger, a grocery store clerk, or someone you pass on the street—it is a chance to learn to speak with a fellow human being and navigate your path to the best of your ability.

Consider how you connect with people around you and throughout your day. Do you make assumptions and miss opportunities to interact and get to know people, and are you remembering to take the time to build bridges?