F*ck the Bucket List for the Adventurer

Society has taught us to find shelter, which serves as our foundational structure and security from exposure to the elements. We’re also faced with a myriad of choices, like who we work for, how we live, what we own, who we marry, and whether or not we bring children into the world. And once we make our choices, some may feel joyful while others feel resentful and trapped in a cage. We can choose to stay married or leave. But what matters most is to be honest with ourselves. Many stay because it’s honorable to be responsible and not disappoint our elders, and we may convince ourselves that that’s our only option. But there’s no safety when the foundation of our shelter is rotting.

I’ve been in many situations, as I’m sure you have, where I knew my life would completely change if I walked out the door into the unknown. But no matter how hard it was, I taught myself to listen to that voice inside of me instead of the one of disappointment of not living up to someone else’s expectations. I promised myself that as one door closed, a few windows would open, and I would learn from each experience that made me uncomfortable. I learned to accept people as they are so I can be who I am meant to be.

This work is definitely not for the faint of heart. It’s not easy to choose to break free from the expectations that often put us on autopilot as a way to navigate life. It requires many deaths and rebirths—breaking it down and building it up. And one thing that it allows us to choose is whether we live our life in a cage. Life in the cage often feels like everything is falling apart and needs some fixing, which is exhausting and overwhelming. But once we can free ourselves, we can see that nothing needs to be fixed.