Shakespeare's Changeling

“For heaven’s sake, Ben, you mustn’t say such things about the dead.”

“You’re right, my lady. One never knows who’s listening.” Jonson paused to acknowledge God and then continued. “Anyway, Drayton and I served as pallbearers, and we were the only writers in attendance. Aside from Shaxper’s family and friends, the rest were local merchants to whom he still owed money. Oh, but he was far from poor, I can attest to that. Everyone whispered about how he’d bequeathed gold rings to each of his theatrical shareholders. He left behind no library or books to pass on, but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway, since no one in his family can read. We put his coffin on the hearse for its final ride to Trinity Church and a little while later, the cart bearing your father’s trunk drove off in the opposite direction. Death is the only way Shaxper would have parted with those manuscripts.”

“Did he have any children?”

“His only son is dead. One of his daughters is married to that Dr. Shed-Blood; the other is the common law bawd of a notorious pickpocket. Shaxper wrote her out of his will and told me it was the best revision he’d ever made on his own. He also said he hoped that his shrew-mouthed wife didn’t have one peaceful night’s sleep in that lumpy old bed.”

“Really, Ben! Such gossip is none of our business.”

“But it’s the truth, my lady. You can’t invent stuff like this.” “How do his neighbors remember him?”

“Now that’s an intriguing question. He did pay for some civic improvements towards the end of his life – something to do with moving dunghills away from common areas, I think. But principally, his neighbors remember him for gouging the price of grain during shortages. Someone suggested building him a monument showing him clinging to a sack of grain.”

“Who would dare say such a thing about a dead man?” “Bless me,” Jonson laughed. “I think it was his wife.” “I’m sure he wouldn’t want to be remembered that way.”

“Probably not. But in this life, when we make our own second-best beds, we must sleep in them.”