Sleeping With Neanderthals

Sleeping with Neanderthals

Chapter 1

This dream is not possible. I am sleeping in a cave with my Neanderthal relatives. That is impossible. I am an emergency room physician and general surgeon at the Kingston General Hospital in Ontario, Canada. I can’t be dreaming. People never question whether they are dreaming when they are dreaming. This is hyper-realistic. I know these people. They are my relatives. They raised me. I am their leader. I know all about them. But if I am a Neanderthal, how can I possibly know about medicine and Kingston? How do I know they are Neanderthals?

I had a fight with my girlfriend, and she left my lakefront home on Lake Ontario. She was over-the-top angry. We aren’t living together but had planned to spend the night together. It was late enough that I went to bed. I fell asleep quickly, but woke up suddenly in this cave with my Neanderthal family. I feel rested but I should be tired. It isn’t a dream. It must be a hallucination. Oh crap! I am going nuts and hallucinating.

It is dark, but I know where I am. I can smell the dry earthy smell of the cave’s floor. I hear the occasional crackle of the smouldering fire and can detect a faint smell of smoke. There is the sound of one of my relatives snoring. We live as an extended family. Stop! This is nonsense.

I try rolling over. There is a woman beside me. Definitely not my girlfriend. This is my wife. But how do I know that? I am not married, but I know Gora is my wife. Now, where did that come from? How do I know her name? She senses my restlessness and cuddles up against my side. I love her. How do I know that?

Take a deep breath. Relax. Breathe regularly. Close your eyes. Go back to sleep. When I wake up, this hallucination will be gone. I am going to have to make an appointment with a shrink. This all seems so real.

I fall into a troubled sleep. Things have not been going well between my girlfriend and I. She wants marriage and kids but I don’t feel ready. No wonder I don’t feel ready. I have a wife. No, this is a hallucination. When I wake up, it will be gone.

Zzzzzz!

I don’t have to open my eyes. I know I am still in the cave. It is time to empty my bladder and get ready. My brothers are coming and we are going hunting today. Wow! How do I know that? 

When I open my eyes, there is light coming in the entrance to our cave. I get up and put some wood on the fire. Gora gets up and gives me a hug and starts preparing our breakfast. It is all so routine and family oriented and ridiculous. I can’t be here. I am a doctor in Kingston.

Gora and all the rest of my relatives eat more meat than I do. I don’t feel well when I eat a lot of protein. Now I have the words and the knowledge to understand that I can’t tolerate as much protein as my wife and brothers, but I don’t know why. Gora will make a breakfast for me with a larger amount of vegetation than she will have. She will however not eat 100% meat. None of us does that. Everyone eats some vegetation.

Gora will make what looks like a fat pancake. She pounded the lentils, nuts, grasses, seeds, and mustard into a mash last night and kept it in a skin bag overnight. Now she will cook it. We do not have pots and pans so she will stoke up the fire until the rocks around the fire get hot. Then she will place the pancakes on the hot rocks to cook them. She is quite skilled at turning them over with a bone knife that I made for her.

No one eats raw meat unless they are stuck out on the land with no safe place for a fire. With my newfound knowledge as Dr. Neanderthal, I am very glad to know this is the case. Not as critical, but I am also glad Gora cooks the vegetable portion of our meals. When out hunting, we will eat nuts and berries as we find them.

The smell of Gora’s cooking has my stomach juices flowing and I can’t wait for breakfast.

My name is Goro, not Dr. Joe Brown. Interesting that even tens of thousands of years ago a name ending in the letter a was a female name and one ending in o was a male name. Stop it. This is stupid. I am buying into this hallucination. I am Dr. Joe Brown.

Gora has just called me for my hallucinatory meal. We sit on the ground or squat on our heels. Squatting is the most common way of sitting down. Whatever the hallucinogen that I have accidentally ingested, this breakfast tastes great. It is gritty because Gora does not hull the seeds, but the flavour is stupendous.

After breakfast, Gora will make food for her father, Drako. He is ancient, about 45 years. He has a bad toothache and is weak from years of a very hard life. He is mobile, but we no longer take him hunting with us. It is too dangerous in his weakened condition. He goes out with Gora and helps collect nuts and seeds etc. Gora’s mum died many years ago and we buried her deep inside our cave. We have buried other relatives in the same area.