Have you ever thought you had it all figured out, only to realize you were horribly off track? That’s what I felt as I sat one morning in my kitchen, trying to “Be still,” wondering how I had arrived at a place where I was so stressed out my physical body and my emotional stability were both in jeopardy. I had tried to do what was right all these years. I had sought to be a productive member of society. I had worked hard to take care of everyone and everything around me. Why, if I indeed had done what I was supposed to do, was my life such a mess?
The answer to that question came after allowing God to work out all the legalism I had been living with through reading the book of Ephesians in my Bible. (Legalism is the act of living by strict rules and expectations in order to earn love and acceptance.) It was the first encounter with reading the Bible I’d ever had. I spent months studying this letter on Christian living, looking up every notation so I could be sure I really understood. In that process, I became still enough to under- stand what it meant to know God and an awful, yet absolutely freeing, revelation dawned on me: my life was such a mess be- cause I had tried to do everything, and tried to do it all on my own. I realized that it was my choice to run my life based on my own understanding that was causing all the trouble, but that I could choose to trust God’s way instead.
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