A Time to Praise

"I’m tired, again. No matter how much sleep I get, I’m still tired. I’ve been in a rat race against time all week, where time seemed to be winning. It was a race to get myself dressed, the kids ready and dropped off at school and daycare, and to work on time. Then in reverse, I rush from work, pick the kids up, and dash home in order to prepare something for us to eat when I’m too tired to even cook.

Lord, help me. I need some energy from somewhere.

Many say that exercise and diet will make a difference, but maybe my resistance has drained my energy. It’s not taking the first step that’s hard for me, but actually staying with the program that’s a challenge. So, I promised myself I’d try again and again until it’s a habit, and then eventually becomes second nature. I need a change for my life to be exciting and new every day. I have to get off this hamster wheel. God, please open doors for me that lead to new life, new people, and new places.

I want unlimited learning, a journey to expansion, and to simply have increase. Then, maybe I’ll be in control of my time instead of time controlling me. I hope to have so much fun, joy, and laughter that timekeeping will be a distant memory.

That was one of my many conversations with God from a couple of months ago I revisited before walking into work today. Something was going to happen. It was in the air. I wasn’t exactly sure what it was, but my mind kept repeating those famous sayings: Be careful what you ask for, and to whom much is given, much is required.

“Tonya, may I see you in my office?” Robert asked in a lowered voice while his eyes avoided contact with mine.

“Sure,” I cautiously said, looking away from my computer screen to my tall, thin-framed boss. “I’ll be right there.”

He gave a nod and walked away.

I gazed back at my screen and wondered why he wanted to see me. I released a sigh that subtly blew strands of my long, black hair. I quickly wrapped up the last paragraph on a client’s thank you letter I had been working on and closed the document.

I pushed the chair back from my desk and slipped on the heels I had securely tucked beneath it. I straightened my beige skirt and nervously headed down the long corridor to Robert’s corner office. I tapped on the cracked door, and he looked up from an opened folder on his desk.

“You wanted to see me.” I nervously smiled.

Robert nodded as he motioned me inside. “Please, close the door behind you and have a seat.”

I followed his instructions and took a seat on one of the cushioned, black chairs across from his desk. I just knew this wasn’t going to be good news by the way he fiddled with his paisley tie.