“Joan, we just opened for business. Don’t worry. “He smiled and inwardly agreed with her. He hoped he wasn’t lying. “I’m covering the ER for plastic surgery this month. Business will pick up.” Sure enough on the second week eight other patients came from his emergency room coverage for anyone needing a plastic surgeon. Since then at least one new patient a day called for an appointment and his colleagues were beginning to refer others to him. There was one other plastic surgeon in his office building and they arranged to cross cover each other. Hopefully, they might one day enter a partnership.
“This is your last patient of the day. Call me when you’re ready for the examination. Good luck.” Joan handed him the new chart. She smiled at him. Joan Torres was an experienced nurse and he couldn’t help but notice she had a good figure for a 36 year-old mother of two. I have to watch those sexist thoughts. I got burned once. Stick to business.
Collins sat in a chair and looked at the 28 year-old platinum blond patient. “Miss Bounty, your medical history is good. You’ve only had a tonsillectomy as a child and mononucleosis when you were in college. What do you do now?”
Cynthia Bounty blinked her heavy false eyelashes, pursed her lips and shifted on the exam table in her blue paper gown. “I’m planning marriage, you know. I’m almost 30 and still single.”
“No, I meant what’s your vocation?”
“Nails. I own my own nail salon, you know. I’m setting up another one and my partner and me hopefully will have a chain pretty soon, you know. I mean in a couple of years.”
“When are you getting married?”
“It’s up to you, Doctor.”
“Up to me?”
“Yeah, you know. Didn’t your nurse tell you?”
“I don’t understand.”
Cynthia Bounty removed her examining gown. “See, Doctor. You gotta build me a body, you know.”
Collins pressed the intercom button and Joan came in.
“Oh, I see we’re ready for the exam.” Joan produced another smile.
“Yeah, you know, I don’t know where to begin but I think the tits are first.”
Collins suppressed a grin and looked at her chart. “It says here you would like to be evaluated for a breast augmentation, a tummy tuck and a butt plaster. All right Miss Bounty, let me check you up top first.” Collins measured her chest circumference and assessed the skin pliability. “I don’t see any problem for increasing your breast size.”
“Are you kiddin’, my genes were gypped at birth. Can I pick out my size?”
“Of course–within reason–I don’t think you want to be Dolly Parton.”
“Hey, lookit her. Dolly Parton only got where she is today because of her humongous tits. But I can’t have ‘em like hers. I wouldn’t be able to work on my customers nails, you know.”
“Okay, stand up while I measure your tummy.”
“I need liposuction right here, you know.” She placed her fingertips beneath her belly button.
“Your tummy actually looks okay. It’ll flatten out with exercise.”
“Doc, don’t give me the exercise speech. I’ve heard it before. And look at my ass. I don’t have one. I want a butt pack or plaster or whatever you stuff back there.”
She did indeed have a flat bottom. It was time for a physical exam. “I have to do a quick physical exam to see if there’s any problem with your health.”
“Hey, you know Doc. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink and with my body I hardly ever get laid. That’s where you come in Doc. Who’s gonna be interested in this body unless I have tits and ass to get them curious.”
Collins completed his exam. “Okay, I think we can sculpt your body to your dimensions. We have to talk about practical matters now. Medical insurance doesn’t cover cosmetic surgery.”
“I know all about it. Nurse, where’s my bag.” She grabbed her pocketbook and pulled out a bank statement. “I brought this. See. I’ve been workin’ hard for six years. I saved up for my new tits and ass.”
“Okay Cynthia, I’ll need you to come back for a separate appointment. We should do the breasts first. At the next visit, if your lab work is okay, I’ll take a picture of you and then we’ll superimpose the breast size you want and schedule an operating room date. The tummy and your buttock surgery can be done at the same time but at a later date.”
“Great doc. I knew the tits should come first.”
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