THE DUTY CREW

“Oh John No. No. No. For Christ’s sake John, I’m not in the mood.” A patient let out a loud verbal directive to Dr. Silver who had his Betadine-covered gloved-hand in her vagina to determine the degree of cervical effacement. The cervix or tip of the uterus was usually a half-inch thick. During labor the uterus contracted spasmodically at shorter and shorter intervals thinning out the cervix and dilating the uterine opening. The process was called effacement and dilatation as the baby’s head moved closer to exiting mother’s warm environment.

Zettler smiled at the woman’s expletive. The medications used during labor made the patients delirious and disoriented. This patient obviously was confused and interpreted Dr. Silver’s internal examination as a prelude to romance. “Scopolamine and Demerol will do it every time.” Her obstetric instructor at school had taught that the combination would also wipe out the memory of the labor. “The most important nursing aspect is to keep the patient from harming herself. They thrash around, kick, scratch and bite. When we restrain and pad off the rails of the bed we are practicing nursing at its best. Many ladies in labor will not sound ladylike and often some obtuse language surfaces. But do not judge. It’s 100% due to the drugs.”

“John, you no good motherfuckin’pecker-faced bastard. You did this to me you thorny prick. I hope your balls ache for 10-thousand years.” This was followed by a sudden loud scream from the patient and then she was quiet for a full minute until her next contraction occurred. Zettler looked at Silver as he emerged from the labor room. He had been the brunt of the verbal tirade.

“I ruptured her membranes and the kid is going to come out in less than 15-minutes. Zettle can you help set up Delivery Room-3? The pediatric nurse is on her way.” Silver removed his rubber gloves and deposited them in a small chrome plated flip-top trash bucket. The lid of the trash bucket made a metallic clunk as he released the foot pedal.