Forensic probes into John’s memoir reveal that even though his sisters had not been happily married, John decided to get married, because he thought with a brilliant academic and professional career he was better off than the most people in the prospect of a successful marital relationship. He didn’t consider the idea of continuing as a single person. Forensic scientists meditated over John’s memoir of his marriage and his journey with his wife and in-laws to discover John’s belief in Oneness. John believed the presence of God in all human beings; he set his goal to discover and manifest the potential divinity within each one of his neighbours, friends and relatives including his wife.
* * *
Deanna’s parents were looking for a groom for their daughter and heard about John; they invited John’s family to come over to Deanna’s place and get introduced to Deanna and her parents. John, his sister Sally and his uncle O’Neill responded.
Coming off a low income family, John was a very common man. He enjoyed love and confidence of his parents, brothers and sisters. He believed — there is only negligible difference between any two persons in the world, each person needs to respond to demands of the nature including food, shelter, sex, love and connection to other persons. John was the youngest among his brothers and sisters, all his elder brothers and sisters had been married. It was now time to get a suitable match for him. John believed every girl is a suitable girl; he had not developed any likings for male partners in life.
Deanna did not like the idea of getting married, and getting introduced to one unknown person in the lookout for a suitable partner. Other girls in her neighbourhood ward did not have to leave the ward after marriage. They had been all married to boys of the same ward. But whom should Deanna tell that she would not like to be at home when the people from John’s family would come for a visit to their place? Parents — Jeremy and Patricia were too strict to allow any disobedience from Deanna; Deanna did not have any courage to tell parents anything about it. Should Deanna tell her friends? No this news should be kept in strictest confidence. If she would tell anyone in the ward, it was very likely that Patricia or Jeremy would hear about this from the parents of Deanna’s friends. None of her friends — boys and girls — could be trusted to get any confidential help.
When John, his sister Sally and his uncle O’Neill came to visit Deanna, she was at home. The interview was very simple; Sally asked a few questions about Deanna’s college and the degree course there. Sally, a M.Sc. in Mathematics, wanted to check how Deanna was enjoying with her friends in the college. At the end of the interview, when Johns got up and started walking to the nearest bus stop, Jeremy, Patricia and Deanna came out as well, as they used to do to see any other relatives off after a visit to their place. John had not spoken a lot so far, but liked the idea of walking together with prospective in-laws for a while.
After returning home, Sally expressed her full approval and support for Deanna as the would-be bride for John. John had not found any point against Deanna yet, and he thought any other girl would not be much different. John’s parents Sullivan and Martina had not found any one suitable yet, so they promptly supported Sally. The uncle O’Neill sent a message to Jeremy’s that they can proceed for the next step, if they had consent as well.
Deanna was now in a bigger problem. She told Patricia that she did not like the idea of getting married so soon. She could not tell that she wanted to get married to someone in their ward; no one had yet offered himself to her. She called her elder sister Kylie and told her that John was a very simple boy, not smart enough to marry her. Kylie had been married for 7 years, had one daughter and had just become pregnant again. She felt, she had been too much under the control of her husband and sometimes by other in-laws as well. She convinced Deanna that the life was more likely to be enjoyed and controlled by Deanna, because John was too simple to create any problem. What would Deanna do now? She had not been educated and trained enough to support herself yet. She thought that Kylie’s vision was great, there was no need to disobey her parents; she agreed to marry John.
* * *
This was the first night of John with his newly married wife Deanna. At the end of the busy evening, John and Deanna were led to their decorated bedroom and flower-filled bed. John felt it was the best of his times, he had lots to do, lots to say — to invite Deanna to his life. He took the ring off his little finger and asked for Deanna’s hand to put the ring on; Deanna did not allow John, she took the ring and said ‘I would wear this later on’. She passed on her ring to John, without trying to put the ring on John’s finger. John took the ring in the cup of his hand and then slowly put on his finger. Deanna went straight to the pillow, and laid her head on that facing away from John. John did not get any sleep; this is the first time he shared the bed with a girl. In a little while Deanna was fast asleep, John lay awake till the dawn listening to breathing noises from Deanna. During the night, Deanna got up two times and went to the toilet; but she never cared to check if John was awake.
In their Gandenade house, there were two rooms in each floor. The rooms in the first floor were used as bedrooms, one by Sullivan and Martina, and the other by Jack and Romy. As Jack and Romy were usually away to Anysnag, their room was hardly used. Though Jack and Romy were present this time to celebrate John’s wedding, their room was prepared for the first night of John and Deanna. Other three rooms were used by Sullivan, Martina, Jack, Romy, Millie, Sally, Gaylene and other invited guests. There was one bathroom and one toilet, separate from each other, in the first floor. When John got up in the morning, he heard some noise near the bath room. Someone said that the bathroom was dirty; someone had used the bathroom instead of going to the toilet. John rushed to solve the problem, so that no commotion could spoil the celebration. John thought, only Deanna was new in this house; perhaps she couldn’t decipher where the toilet was; it was his obligation to cover up so that no one could point finger to her. He cleared off the faeces with paper, disposed the garbage off, and washed the bathroom floor. John had a miserable wedding night and the first morning of his wedded life started on an ominous note. Only Sally watched what John did; she didn’t make any noise about this.
* * *
When John entered the drawing room, he found his father Sullivan busy talking with Deanna’s father Jeremy and mother Patricia. Jeremy and Patricia were trying to convince Sullivan that Deanna should continue to stay at their place in Port Victoria as she needed to start her Master Degree curriculum from there. Sullivan wanted Deanna to stay either at Jamesburg or at John’s place in Moon Town.
As John entered, Jeremy said, ‘John has already agreed that Deanna should continue her studies and from the Port Victoria University.’
John was a bit perplexed, he wanted Deanna to go with him to Moon Town, but he was always an advocate for higher education. He could not say that Jeremy was lying about his consent; he could not say that it is up to Deanna and him to decide whether or not Deanna should study further and whether she should study at Moon Town or at Port Victoria or at Jamesburg. Neither he nor Sullivan knew that Jane made the same proposal to Martina and other ladies and Martina has disapproved the proposal on the ground that John won’t have married Deanna, had this proposal been known to John and his parents.
John calmly said to his father — ‘Hi Dad, I was going to tell you that Deanna has been selected for a Master’s course and kindly allow her to study at Port Victoria. However, I have also prepared for her stay at Moon Town.’
‘Of Course’ — Jeremy said, ‘She will go with you now. She will also go to your place during the holidays’.
Unknowingly John agreed to Jeremy’s words, without getting any chance to discuss this matter with Deanna first and then with Martina and Sullivan. He didn’t realise that Jeremy had imposed his decision on John and Sullivan.
Since there were many guests in the house and they were interested to spend time with the new bride Deanna, John didn’t get any opportunity of talking to Deanna. At bedtime when John and Deanna were together, Deanna wanted the light to be put off so that she could sleep without any talking. First opportunity of talking was available to John a day later, when the newly married couple was supposed to spend a day at the house of the girl’s parents. This was when John came to know that Deanna had got herself admitted to the M.A. course in the university, without sharing her plans to John and John’s parents. Had this been known to John’s parents, they might not have consented to this marriage; even John expected that his wife would be with him after the marriage. Anyway, in John’s family education was encouraged, so John agreed to allow Deanna to study.
This was the day when John could come close to Deanna during the day time, when no one else was present in the room. After lunch, John and Deanna were asked to relax in a room.
Deanna was lying face down on the bed; she was reading a story book; John came and sat beside her. He asked her about the university she would go to and also about the book. While talking to Deanna, John held her gently and firmly and said, ‘Today, I like to see a bit more of you.’
In the mean time, Deanna had changed her posture from face-down to face-up; Deanna was wearing a pink blouse and light blue petticoat; John kissed on her face and then on her blouse; John wanted to unbutton her blouse, so that he could see her breasts for the first time; she didn’t like to take the blouse off and the buttons were on her back; John could not reach the buttons; anyway John could still pat on Deanna’s breasts and nipples; Deanna might not have her bras on; he gently caressed her breasts. Next, John raised Deanna’s petticoat and removed her panty. This time Deanna said, ‘Do you have a condom?’ John kept condoms handy; he wore one. He tapped Deanna’s pussy, kissed her nipples and breasts; he raised Deanna’s legs and tried to penetrate through hers. ‘There is something obstructing’ John whispered, ‘I can’t get mine through’.
‘I knew that old people like you can’t do this; I am still a virgin; I have to find someone younger than you’, Deanna said.
‘I am older than you by only seven years; you and your parents knew that; I’ll do it now, just get ready’, John said; he raised and folded her legs; before Deanna could realise what he was up to, he had vigorously pierced through her vaginal membrane and pumped into hers with a gusto. Deanna too was apparently thrilled to get filled with something she had never relished before; but she cried and said, ‘Alas, I lost my virginity to you; I wish someone else had done this.’
‘Don’t worry; you are now married to me;’ John said, ‘I would do this every day to satiate your thirst; come and live with me in the Moon Town.’
‘Sorry, I’ve to study here.’ Deanna said, ‘Please take the condom off me and put in the waste basket; please take care; don’t spill anything over the bed.’
* * *
When John and Deanna reached Moon Town at 10pm, Shane and Sandra were waiting for them. Shane and Sandra welcomed John and Deanna to Moon Town. The luggage was dropped at John’s quarter, and they went for dinner at Shane’s. They could not wait long after the sumptuous dinner, as John would have to go to work at 6am next morning.
The next few days were very busy. John and Deanna visited a number of John’s friends, either at their quarters or at the restaurants nearby; but when at home they hardly talked to each other; John had a flair for recitation and singing; one of these days he started singing one of his favourite songs when Deanna entered the room and said, ‘Please don’t sing these out-of-tune songs when I am near you; I cannot tolerate these things.’ From that day, John had to say good-bye to all music of his life. He had a tape-recorder, where he used to record his songs, recitation and dramas; John was good at dramatics, he could imitate voices of most renowned actors and even actresses; but all these were meaningless to Deanna; only conversation Deanna had with him was about which friends to visit next and which restaurants she liked to have her next meal at.
Deanna had only two weeks of holidays before the start of her curriculum at Port Victoria. John and Deanna invited all his colleagues and friends at The Wicklow Hotel. Deanna enjoyed, talked and danced with every one there; only odd man out was John; she avoided John whenever he was close to her. Then the whole party went to see off Deanna at Moon Town station. Deanna shook hands and hugged with all friends, but hurriedly avoided John before heading for the train. John helped her board the train, took her luggage inside the train compartment, sat beside her as there were a few minutes before the train would leave. But Deanna did not like this idea — ‘Why are you sitting here? I have to travel four hours by train. Please get off and let me make friends with the passengers here.’ John got off, he realised Deanna had no need to know, even for a minute, the person, she had promised to spend her life with, while it was very important for her to know the people she would be travelling with in the train, may be for a couple of hours.
* * *
When Deanna returned to her ward in Port Victoria, she found herself elevated in status after the marriage. Among her friends, boys paid more respects and still solicited her help to get introduced to some of her unmarried friends, believing that she herself moved beyond their reach. Girls, mostly, were envious of her new fortune, as they blamed their parents for not working hard enough. Some of the girls, also thought she were in a better position to help them to get to other boys of the ward. In a way, she continued to keep in touch with the boys and girls of the ward, even asking how often a boy masturbated in a week and how he could have avoided that.
Regan, who lived two doors away from Deanna, was already known to Deanna. Regan’s father was a big business man of the ward. Regan’s parents were in very good terms with Deanna’s parents. Regan stopped studying after the school and joined his father in the business. Unlike other young men of the ward, he now drove his own car and had lots of money at his disposal to entertain his friends, relative and business customers. At this stage, his parents were trying to induce him into a happy married life; but Regan preferred to remain bachelor for a longer time and was in the lookout for exploring more girls of different communities, he liked to be more intimate with them both physically and mentally. He might later marry a girl of his own community and treat her as the bread and butter of his life, now he wanted to enjoy the girls of other communities like omelettes with bacon and cheese. Regan reckoned the girls speaking other languages and following other religions often have different types of shoulders, legs and curves; they taste more spicy, sweet and sour on plates, more so with a touch of wine and beer. In a way this pursuit for different types of girls helped him in his business of making many good customers. In Regan’s opinion, sexual pleasure should be readily and easily available in the same way the food and shelters are available to those who can afford. Customers’ demand could be satisfied not only by paying in cash, but in kind — food, shelter or sex, or any other goods and services. Married Deanna, just 21 year old, seemed more approachable to Regan, she was easy of access, and none of their parents suspected anything wrong if they move together for a movie or dine together in a restaurant — these were accepted ways to give the bachelors the tips of married lives.
As days went on, things developed further. There used to be no days, when Deanna had not seen Regan at least for a few minutes. Some days, Regan used to pick her up from the university and made trips to some places, where they could spend time together. Deanna thought this is the way the life should be enjoyed. When Regan spent so much money for her, she needed to give him whatever she could; poor John should be satisfied with one letter in a month. Deanna had not told John to keep away from girls, let him enjoy with girls at Moon Town if he wanted so. Deanna’s parents were also impressed that she was studying hard, working hard in the libraries after the university hours.
One day Regan and Deanna were walking near the university, when they were seen by John’s uncle O’Neill. O’Neill was not very impressed by seeing John’s wife Deanna in close quarters with an unknown man; but he could not tell Deanna anything and went away avoiding her. On a much later date, O’Neill could tell this to John, and John realised why Deanna did not agree to study from John’s parental home, when she wanted to join the university. Deanna, however, didn’t notice O’Neill at all, while she was getting cheered up by other onlookers, especially four of her female class mates. Deanna’s classmates were all at the last stages of puberty — their bodies had been maturing into adult bodies capable of sexual reproduction; they were all appreciating hormonal signals from the brain to the gonads; ovaries in girls, testes in boys; their gonads started producing hormones to stimulate libido and the growth, function, and transformation of their brains, bones, muscle, blood, skin, hair, breasts, and sexual organs.
Deanna was under paramount peer pressure from her classmates, boys and girls, to perform with her boyfriend Regan, while Regan was whetting his skills for hunting pretty women; Deanna was the first freshly married woman in his list of hunts. He thought it was much safer to have fun with married women, without any worries for consequences. He would now try to lure a newly married housewife in their locality; she used to be alone at home during the day when her husband went for work. He would request her to start a cooking class for the young men of the locality and the men would have fun in paying their fees in massaging the lady. His friends would be keen to have funs in cooking classes, where they would provide all groceries. Even if they didn’t enjoy the food prepared, they would surely enjoy the fun of group massaging a young woman. It would be more fun if they could convince the woman that massaging is best done with no clothes on, so that clothes won’t get spoiled by oil used for massaging.
Deanna was not aware what Regan was thinking; she thought she was about to score in a soccer match, amidst the applause from her friends, shouting — ‘Go Deanna Go, Go Deanna Go. Win that handsome man. Kiss your man to win his heart. Do it now.’ Deanna was assured by her classmates that she had a special advantage — she was a married woman, living away from her husband, who would be kept in the dark. Deanna knew that John was already happy that he pierced through her vaginal membrane; he won’t know had someone else entered into hers after that.
Deanna had a very good university friend in Cathy. Cathy made up for Deanna’s absence from the university and the library; she took notes to pass on to Deanna. Cathy used to phone Deanna’s parents when required to cover her absence. Cathy had often travelled with Regan and Deanna, but she always believed that Deanna, though married, was meant for Regan and she had no intention to be in Deanna’s way. Deanna liked to set her priorities appropriately, this was the time she could enjoy the life best with Regan, missed lessons could be made up later, lots of time was available before the next exams.
* * *
One servant was engaged at John’s quarter to help in cleaning the flat and cooking food. He used to stay in John’s quarter, except for holidays when he needed to visit his village. Six quarters like John’s were in the same block and a common stair case and the main exit door were shared by all six quarters. The person going to attend the night shift from that block, would lock the exit door; the person going to attend the morning shift from that block, would unlock the exit door; the persons attending the night shift would also return soon after the door is unlocked. One day there was a few minutes’ opportunity for John’s servant to leave before John arrived, and he went away with John’s wedding watch and a few pieces of jewellery.
* * *
A year later, John thought, it was getting harder for his parents to live at Jamesburg on their own; Sullivan was then 74 years old and John’s mother Martina was 65. John knew that Deanna would never agree to study from Sullivan’s place and help John’s parents in that process. John invited his parents to live with him at Moon Town. Sullivan and Martina were very happy to be with John at Moon Town, more so to help John in his hard factory-based living. When at Moon Town, Sullivan was very happy in walking along the village roads at Moon Town and buying grocery, which Martina loved to cook. John was happy to enjoy culinary dishes prepared by Martina. Thus the life passed smoothly for a year. John used to spend his evenings in the club, playing Billiard and Table Tennis. He had also interests in photography, dramatics and music and would easily get busy with camera and recorders. There was a big change in John’s work as well; he was moved from the factory floor to the Finance Department, where he was assigned the task of introducing computerised data processing. John also joined a two-year part time course for MBA — he would get his MBA at the same time Deanna would get her master’s degree. Deanna came to Moon Town two times in a year, during semester breaks. Each time she stayed only for a week.
When only six months were left for Deanna’s MA and John’s MBA, Sullivan was seriously ill. He was hospitalized at Moon Town for an operation on his gall bladder for removing a stone. John’s colleagues provided him all necessary help; especially two of his friends donated blood when needed by Sullivan. There was a break in Deanna’s university too at that time, and she came to visit her father-in-law. This time John was very much occupied and could hardly remain at home, he was either at work, or at the hospital, or at the institute, or at the data centre for hiring computer time. Still John observed that Deanna was looking for every opportunity to make a phone call to Port Victoria; making phone calls were a bit complicated in the Moon Town; all phone calls needed to be routed via Telephone Operator of the Company; phone in residential quarters could be used only for calls within the Moon Town. So Deanna resorted to writing lots of letters; she had no concerns for anyone at Moon Town, not even for Sullivan at the hospital and John staying late there. One of these days, John was very fatigued, he has spent the previous night at the hospital, went to work for a couple of hours, came home to take lunch and was on his way to the hospital. From the hospital, he would go to the data centre at 6pm for hiring time there. As he was going out of the quarter, he looked at the letter box, and found one letter addressed to Deanna. John was struck by the name and handwriting of the sender — Regan Daley. This morning John had posted one Deanna’s letter addressed to the same person; a few minutes ago Deanna had given him another letter addressed to the same person, and that letter was in his briefcase, waiting to be posted. John put the letter from Regan Daley in his briefcase as well and got on to his scooter to drive to the hospital.
After reaching the hospital, John parked his scooter and took the briefcase off. The letter, he picked up from the letter box before starting for the hospital, was still haunting him. He could not but open and read the letter before going to his father’s bed. It was Regan who had written a few lines that brought a vivid picture of his physical intimacy with Deanna: Regan, sitting on a chair asked Deanna to come over and sit on his lap, keeping her legs on both sides of Regan. Deanna happily obliged to arouse him… . Regan was proudly confident in that letter that Deanna is pregnant with Regan’s. He exclaimed in the letter, ‘My horse has won the race!’
John couldn’t rest after reading this letter from Regan; he was suspicious; before posting the letter from Deanna, addressed to Regan he opened the letter and read its contents. He got even a bigger shock to go through Deanna’s narration of events with Regan. John couldn’t believe how Deanna had relished every detail of her intercourse with Regan. She was, in this letter, sorry and relieved at the same time that she wasn’t pregnant with Regan’s. She had menstruated on Saturday forenoon; that made her write to Regan second time on the same day. She promised to fulfil his desire at some later dates, with exclamations of deep love. John posted that letter and thought he would write to Deanna’s father, Jeremy, i.e. GemDaddy, so that he might catch Regan napping.
John had yet not got any opportunity to develop any love for Deanna, but now was filled with hatred for her. For a moment, he was at a loss; this is the first time in his life he was bewildered by a breach of trust, that too from the one who is supposedly closest to his heart. John clenched his teeth together, walked to his father’s bed, and asked him how he was feeling after he woke up this morning. John was by his bed last night. He scanned through the doctor’s notes quickly, while he was trying hard to forget the scene from Regan’s letter. He spent an hour with Sullivan and then headed off to the data centre. He had to concentrate hard while driving his scooter, as it was getting difficult to get his focus off the scene from Regan’s letter and set his eyes on the road in front. After reaching the data centre he wasn’t sure where he was and where he was heading to; before he realized, he entered the ladies toilet and came back after receiving few shocked, angry rebukes. He took control of his feelings while at data centre and carried out the jobs fast — punched a few cards, fed cards through the card reader, got the tapes/disks read/written, got the reports printed, bills printed on the pre-printed stationery. He came out and drove back home.
What should John do now? Perplexed he was and desperately looking for someone who could guide him off the stress and the situation he was in. He thought of telling about the development to his mother, who could provide insight to any intricate social problem. She should not be disturbed now; she is too anxious about his father now. He thought of getting advice from his father, who could have advised about the consequences of any action he could take. Now in the hospital, his father would not have the strength to bear this shock from his daughter-in-law. He could have gone to some of his friends, who have seen similar breakdowns in married lives. But John did not go to his mother, nor did he go to his father, not even to his friends. He kept all his heartbeats only to himself.
John thought he had to share this shocking news with only one person who could bring Deanna under control. He wrote the following letter to Jeremy
Moon Town; Sunday 18.5.75
Only yesterday I’ve posted one letter to your address stating the news of Deanna’s arrival as a pleasant shock. I couldn’t imagine that a much bigger shock was in store for me and will hit me so soon when my mind is so vulnerable, being occupied with anxiety for my father who is just coming off critical stages.
Yet I have to tell you about a fact which should usually not to be told to elders, but I have no one else to share this news before I turn mad or commit suicide.
On Saturday 17/5 evening Deanna gave me a letter for posting; this was addressed to: Regan Daley; XXXXX Diesel Service, 64/A XXXXX Road; Port Victoria-37.
This was an inland form. Since, in the morning, I’ve posted one envelope from her to the same address, I became suspicious and asked her why two letters need be written in the same day to the same address; she said that she forgot something to write in that last letter.
There was some cold discussion between us, which I will tell you later, to clearly show she had no love left for me. This led my suspicious mind to open the letter before posting it and I got the biggest shock. Her letter was related to an incident in which only a married couple is supposed to be involved. She was, in this letter, sorry and relieved at the same time that no effect is indicated in her menstruation, which occurred on Saturday forenoon; she promised to fulfil his desire at some later dates, with exclamations of deep love.
I would request you to probe into this incident, which has probably occurred on the 10th or the 3rd of May and if possible trace these two letters posted yesterday. Please write to my office address as still I have not lost confidence that I can’t win her love; please don’t write to her about this.
This is what has happened and involvement with Mr Regan Daley has taken a definite shape during her stay in Port Victoria. The blame goes partly to you for insisting on us to allow her to study away from me; I am partly to blame as well for my liberal ideas and extreme confidence in my competence and sensitiveness to other people. But the damage is already done; I only hope it does not come to an irreparable shape that I have to bring up someone else’s child. I now repent that I didn’t force my will on Deanna for dissuading her from studies and other members of my family remained silent giving us full liberty for making any decision.
Now we have to see what we can do about it. I’ve noticed that each time I went to Port Victoria after the last October festivities, we had a very bad time whenever left alone; she never allowed me to touch her. This is the reason; I came to Port Victoria only for a single day or two and went away whenever Deanna wanted. I didn’t take this very seriously and attributed this to temporary disorder of her mind. I blame myself that I could not become angry. Still a calm restraint on my behaviour hardly expresses to anybody what is happening in my mind.
However we had a brief talk between us on Saturday (before I read the letter and she still doesn’t know that I’ve read it). She told me point blank that I’ve nothing to impress her except that the qualification and the status which hardly make any difference and she would never cooperate with me whenever we’re left to ourselves. She wanted me to change over to Port Victoria so that she can still be with me. But how can we continue like that? I urged on her that though the decision to marry might have been forced on her, it was endorsed by her and should she should have at least tried to make our lives happy from the outset.
She didn’t cooperate with me whenever left to ourselves and this was clear from December’74 onwards. It’s really tragic that a marriage between two mentally and physically (I think I need not make it clearer) capable persons, fails like this. Two factors are responsible for this: one is mature liberalism from my side and the other is immature adolescence on her part.
You please advise me what I can do about this. At present my decision is to forgive her and give her a chance to change with time. I have to try this for two/three months slowly forgetting completely what I have read in her letter. I will send my confidential reports to you time and again at interval of 15 days. If my efforts fail we have to think of otherwise as one cannot lead an unstable life all along.
I request you to see that Mr R. Daley gets married (this may drift Deanna away from him) and also to check if he is prepared to marry Deanna. I can choose to lead a single life for the sake of stability. As you would easily appreciate that either or both of us would otherwise commit suicide or become mad if we go on leading this sort of life and just pretend to move as a happy couple outwardly,
I once again request you not to write to Deanna at the present stage but better come over to us when we move to a bigger quarter to watch us from close. I still have confidence in me that my mature mind will ultimately win. I seek your blessings and advice.
All what I’ve written here is to be kept between only two of us. Please don’t let any other person know while I am trying to repair the damage.
Affectionately Yours, John
* * *
Next Wednesday when John was set to leave for work, Deanna came to him and requested him to post one envelope for her. John put the envelope in his brief case and went off to work. Before he went to drop the letter in the post box and looked at the address; this letter was addressed to Regan Daley again; only on Saturday last, the letter from the same person moved the world before him when he was totally broken down before going to see his father in the hospital. John knew that Deanna trusted him to post the letter, not to read it; but John had the urge to know what exactly going between Deanna and Regan. He opened the envelope carefully and read the contents as follows:
21st May, ’75
My dearest one,
Today just now I received your letter (the Express Delivery of 15th May).
Thank you very much for the prescription. But on the 17th May my period started and on that day I wrote you a letter to inform it. Perhaps you have received it. On the 16th also I wrote you a letter, though both of them (the 16th & 17th) were posted on the same day. Did you get them? I don’t like your small and dry letter, whether I wrote you long letters with puppies. You did not write me what the doctor said! For what purpose did she give the medicine, to cure the conception or to regularise my period? Did you tell her my real name?
You wrote that you are fine there, but I am not fine without you. I think of you all the day & night.
It’s just one week since I have come here, but it seems to me like one year.
I always pray to God to go back to Port Victoria at the end of the June and counting the days. Here I talk with your snap.
I don’t let him to touch me yet. I am helpless, I can’t tolerate his touch; it is just like electric shock.
Have you seen any film? I haven’t any yet, What did you do at the Saturdays?
When I get sleep, I dream; when I dream I get you;
But when I remember you, my sleep disappears, no dream whatsoever.
With love and pups
Baby Darling Deanna
* * *
John received the following letter from Jeremy
21 May ’75
After I posted a letter addressed to both of you yesterday, I received your envelope. I was utterly perplexed, shocked and mortified when I was reading your note. Your GemMummy observed my anxious face and tears rolling down my eyes and sensed something ominous must have happened; she recognises your handwriting, so I have to tell her what you have written.
If you had read the 2nd letter of 17/5 before posting, you would know what Deanna wrote in them and should not have posted that letter. Those letters might have reached that boy Regan, who lives next door, but I won’t have a clue what was in those letters. I knew this boy for last 6 years, but never guessed this could be done by him. From now onwards, don’t post any letter, if it is not addressed to us.
I wonder why in one day she asked you to post two letters addressed to the same person; specially those letters which could make you suspicious about her. I never thought she could be so daring.
Before she was married to you, I got her admitted to the M.A. curriculum of the university; so after marriage I requested you to allow in her continuing in the university. Had you then objected to it, I would not have forced this on you.
Please do not take any drastic action on her; you are a mature, intelligent and considerate boy, please apply your moral influence to rectify her. Try to convince her that she no longer needs to continue her studies. It does not matter to me whether or not she could sit for the examination next year. There is no need to any more studies for her.
After your dad gets fully cured, you may take her somewhere for a week or so; this may help you to know each other a bit better.
She need not come here in June or even later. Please give her the attached letter and the newspaper cutting, and check her reaction to that.
Please tear off this letter after you read it; only show her the accompanying letter. You must be appreciating the state of my mind. I would wait for further news from you,
* * *
Deanna handed over to John few more letters for posting; John read them and thought that there was no need to post them.
1st June, 75
In these 15 days I wrote you 3½ letters, but I did not receive any reply of them except the former one with the slip from Miss Tandon.
I cannot understand what the matter is with you or your letters!
Everyone gets my letters in proper time except you, and I am also getting all the letters within 2-4 days except yours. Is anything wrong? I am so anxious that I could not help to write you again. I waited up to Saturday (yesterday), it seems like a year. I highly hope that Monday I would get your letter.
Last week I sent you a small letter inside the Maya’s letter,
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