Memories of Tomorrow

Jo stopped by her closet on the way to shower, chose one of her favorite “casual but chic” outfits, and took a quick look in the mirror.

Well, not too shabby. A few wrinkles here and there, but not too bad for 53.

Then she stopped to notice the many changes that had been occurring with her body as she began to age.

Saggy here, droopy there, flabby in more places than I care to count. You would think after all those years of PT, I’d still be as fit as a fiddle. I’ve had too many years at a desk, and not enough time in the field.

Time in the field…who could have imagined the journey I started as a kid, would take me to all the places I’ve been? To all the different posts I’ve held, never mind my work at the Dept of Defense. Hell, I’d never even heard of the internet when I enlisted. Life has held some really big surprises for me…some good, some bad.

She threw her pajamas over the hook on the bathroom door, and stepped into a hot, steamy shower.

The water seemed to wash away some of her melancholy mood, and when she emerged, the body that had just a few moments ago seemed so distasteful, glowed pink and a smile touched Jo’s lips.

I may be a little worse for the wear, but I’m not completely out of the game. But am I even interested in pursuing a relationship? Now, at my age, do I really want to put all that effort into something that, in the end, may or may not work?

Paul Collections and Phillip Smart wandered into her thoughts.

Those two are the only ones to have ever held my heart. Yet they’re so different. What is it about a person that touches a heart? What was it about either of them that caught my attention? And how did I let them both slip away?

She already knew the obvious answer to the question. She had chosen herself and her career over any feelings of romance and love that either man had brought into her life. But why did I chose myself over them? Why wasn’t I able to take a leap of faith and give up some of what I wanted in order to gain what “we” might have been?

It was a question she had ask herself a million times over. And the truth was, she still hadn’t come up with an answer that was satisfying.