“When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.” (Proverbs 10:19 NASB)
This verse gives a good rule of thumb when talking with those grieving. People are uncomfortable when they see family members or friends in pain. They wish to say something to lighten their grief. That “something” doesn’t exist. I realize that people are uncomfortable with death and don’t know what to say to those grieving. Shortly after Bob’s death one of my friends called and said, “M.E. I don’t know what to say.” That statement provided much comfort because he spoke the truth and did not add anything to try and make me feel better.
These are behaviors that do not help those in pain deal with their grief:
Gayle Roper in her book, A Widow’s Journey, (2016) wrote “People say things with good intent. I know that. Still they hurt. ‘All things work for good. God only takes the good ones. God is in control.’ Any my favorite wrong thing: ‘Isn’t it wonderful that he’s in heaven with the Lord?’ Quite frankly, it isn’t wonderful. He should be here with me.”
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