Unleash the Girls

But despite all this—and the apparent elusiveness of the goal—I was hell-bent on creating a working prototype of my jock bra.

 Polly wandered into the living room as I finished stretching out. We were sitting there chatting about jock bra design alternatives, a bit disheartened, when Al came down the stairs and paused on the landing, a couple of steps from the bottom. Always the comedian, he commanded our attention from his latest stage. “Ladies, ladies! Your work is done! Your trials and frustrations are over! I present your jock bra!” There, standing on the stairs, was my 6’4”, red-bearded husband with his jockstrap pulled over his head, the waistband tight around his chest, the strap pulled over his shoulder, causing the pouch to stretch over his chest in a most bra-like way.

Polly and I thought we would wee in our pants. The more we laughed, the funnier it seemed. Fully engaged in the comedy and wanting to keep the giggle going, I got up and rushed over to see how this ridiculous jockstrap bra would look on me and my very real 34C breasts. Cramming myself next to him on the landing, I wrestled the jockstrap over Al’s head, and down over mine. We cackled as I maneuvered and jiggled my right, T-shirted breast into the upside-down jockstrap pouch, pulled one strap over my shoulder, and nudged the waistband down around my ribcage. I hopped off the stairs and started jumping up and down. Polly and Al’s laughter reached a new pitch.

For the first few seconds, I didn’t even notice that this crazy, jockstrap contraption was actually holding my right  breast firmly—the waistband felt secure, unmovable. Then, suddenly, I did notice, and my demeanor changed instantly. I stopped laughing. Amid Al and Polly’s chatter and giggles, I shouted. “I didn’t bounce!” They both looked at me oddly, their laughter subsiding. “When I put on the jockstrap…I didn’t bounce…or hardly, anyway. It feels right. I’m not kidding. Look! This might be it, Polly. Really. No joke!” Bemused, Polly came over to take a closer look. After some poking, prodding, further examination and conversation, she concurred. Yes, this upside-down, caddywumpus jockstrap contraption just might be a design guide for our jock bra.