My grief counselor once told me when she works with clients, she watches to make sure they don’t isolate themselves too much. I understand from a clinical point of view that isolating oneself and staying in the house too often are probably not good. But I know from my experience that sometimes all I wanted—and still want—was to cocoon myself in my house, where I feel safe.
As I explained in the previous chapter, after Reg passed away, the world didn’t feel emotionally safe to me. It seemed as if every time I left the house, I ran into couples. Or I would meet my friends, and they would talk about their husbands. Being around happy people just felt emotionally unsafe. It felt safer and much easier to stay in my house, where I wasn’t bombarded with reminders of what I was now missing.
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