Although we didn’t do it often, a few times we sat on the couch and worked on a crossword puzzle together. I rarely knew many answers and largely depended on Reg to solve them. After he passed away, I found an old newspaper with a crossword puzzle, so I decided to sit outside and pretend he was with me doing it. It was depressing. I couldn’t depend on him for the answers, and I was 100 percent responsible for it. Mostly, what I missed was the comfortable relaxation of hanging out and doing an activity together. Every winter, we also did a big (500- or 1000-piece) jigsaw puzzle together. To feel connected to him, I’ve continued to complete one every winter, but I dislike doing it alone!
After our spouses passed away, my widower friend Laurence and I went to IKEA and coincidentally saw two of his friends there eating ice cream cones. IKEA is not where I would want to go for dessert, but I felt so jealous seeing this couple sitting there together eating their cones. It wasn’t an extravagant date or a big deal. It was only ice cream at IKEA. But that’s the kind of activity Reg and I would have done together. I miss being with him, just hanging out with him like that.
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