After he passed away, I placed a baseball bat next to my bed and mace on the nightstand. I hadn’t even thought about security before (other than his once-a-year trip), but now I had to think about it. I remember one night realizing I had to either let go of the fear, or I would be fearful every night, which is not how I want to spend my life. So, I let the fear go and now generally feel safe and don’t worry about intruders. But I no longer sleep with the windows open during the summer. I don’t like to go outside in the summer when it’s late and dark to water the lawn, because I’m scared someone will go in the house. I don’t have the same sense of physical security I used to have.
A few weeks after he died, the SWAT team was in our alley with guns because someone had broken into a house with a gun. Are you kidding me? About a year later, I saw the police across the street. Once again, there had been a home break-in. Those events wouldn’t have thrilled me even when Reg was alive, but now such occurrences caused extreme nervousness. I feel vulnerable now, where I hadn’t felt vulnerable in my past.
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