I think I was a nice person before Reg died. I expect that if you asked people who knew me, they would say I was compassionate and kind. But after Reg passed away, I tried to be nicer to strangers. I read blogs by psychic mediums and read a lot about death. The theme I kept seeing is that as humans, we are here to love and to be loved. So I’ve strived to take that message to heart.
As I explained in an earlier chapter, I lost a lot of empathy and tolerance for people. But on the other hand, I’ve tried to be kinder. I try to be friendlier to random people at the store. I also attempt to encourage my friends to be more loving and kind. I do my best to remember to wish people a happy birthday or contact my widow friends on the anniversaries that are important, such as the passing date. As my grief counselor told me, there are a lot of walking-wounded people out there. So I do my best. I try to remember that at the end of the day, my mission as a soul is to love and to be loved.
Trust me, I’m far from perfect, but I’ve tried. I think about how I would feel if my life were coming to an end. Could I declare I was a good person? I’m doing my best to make sure I can answer affirmatively when it’s my time to pass.
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