My dad died in 1998, and my sister passed away in 2002. After their deaths, I didn’t fret about other people dying. But since Reg’s death, I’ve become panicked about people close to me dying. This is especially true with my mom. The summer after Reg passed away, she shredded her meniscus and could barely walk. She looked and acted old as she limped around. I was beside myself with grief thinking that she, too, was going to die on me.
Thankfully, her knee has healed and she can walk just fine. But, I’ve sobbed more times than I can even tell you just thinking about her death. At some level in my logical mind, I recognize my mom will likely die long before me. But emotionally, I cannot handle it. I’m brought to my knees just thinking about it. In my past, I would have felt upset to ponder my mom potentially dying, but now it sends me right over the edge.
I also worry about my friends dying. One of my friends has two young children and a stressful, full-time job. I often fear the stress will cause her to become sick and die. I expect most people my age don’t worry about their companions dying. But I do, and I keep trying to encourage my friend to lessen her stress.
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