I’ve become friends with all of these widowed people. In total, since Reg died, I’ve become friends or interacted with twelve widows/widowers. The youngest was 23 when her fiancé passed, and the oldest was 72 when her husband died. Some lost their spouses unexpectedly; some lost them after a long illness. Some had kids in grammar school, some had teenagers, some had grown kids, and some (like me) had no kids. I’ve discovered that regardless of our age, gender, child status, or the circumstances of the deaths, we’ve all felt many of the same feelings, such as deep and unexpected sadness, anger, bitterness, and many more, which I will detail throughout this book.
When I searched for grief books after Reg died, so many of them talked about how to get through the experience. They discussed how to survive and what you needed to do to take care of yourself. They talked about how you can feel happy again, and how you can thrive. I didn’t want to be told that—at least not that early in my grief journey. I didn’t see any books that would just help me feel normal, that would just say my feelings were acceptable. I knew I would survive. What other choice did I have? I didn’t need anyone to tell me how to do that.
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