The grief that accompanies the loss of a loved one is crippling. In Feeling Left Behind, author Kim Murdock relates and empathizes with that pain because she’s been there. She knows what it feels like to be woefully blindsided by music or at the grocery store, to reconsider the future alone, and to connect with a person who is no longer alive. You will relate to her chapters as she describes:
● The crushing desire to freeze time and isolate yourself
● The unstable phase of “firsts”― first holidays, birthdays, anniversaries
● The anger and sadness at seeing other couples
● The loss of self, empathy, security, and tolerance
● The heartbreaking sadness of getting rid of their belongings
● And so much more
This is not a step-by-step guide on how to grieve. Kim outlines every detail of her experience as well as the experiences of her widow/widower friends to show you that you are not alone. You are normal. And you deserve as much time as possible to figure out how to survive in your own way.
Kim Murdock is a writer and editor who has made it her mission to help those dealing with the loss of a loved one, particularly a spouse. After becoming a widow at 42, she didn't want people to tell her how to heal or that everything happens for a reason. She just wanted to know that her feelings were normal. She spent almost three years working with a grief counselor and joined a young widows group, becoming good friends with many widows/widowers. Having these outlets to share her feelings and know she wasn't alone was really the only thing that helped her.
In gratitude to the widows and widowers who helped her, she decided to pay it forward and support others suffering a loss. In Feeling Left Behind, she shares her experiences and feelings to help others know they aren't alone and that their feelings are normal. In a candid and heartfelt way, she expresses what many–maybe even most–grieving people feel and experience.
If I look at my life, I’ve taken actions that others thought were bold. They didn’t feel brave to me though; they felt like what I was supposed to do. In my late 20s, I quit my secure, high-paying job to become a life coach. My corporate friends told me I was brave. I felt my life needed meaning, and I knew I was on the planet to do more than sit in a cubicle working tremendous hours to make money for stockholders. Therefore, it didn’t feel brave. Last year, I went to Kenya by myself. My friends thought this was brave. I didn’t think so because I met up with a group of women. They were strangers, but I still wasn’t entirely alone. It was a wonderful trip, so it was worth it. Probably the boldest move I’ve made is publishing this book. It contains my intimate, raw feelings and experiences. It’s a vulnerable book, and strangers (and friends) can now judge me. My widowed friends say there’s no way they would want strangers to know their grief. They call me brave. I feel fearful, so I guess this must be a bold move.
Feeling Left Behind: Permission to Grieve
In this book, I share my feelings and experiences. Some of them may make me sound harsh, uncaring, or ungrateful, which I am not under normal circumstances. But during my grief, especially in the earliest stages, sometimes these emotions took over. To give you permission to allow your feelings and to not judge yourself, I committed to tell the truth regardless of whether I would be judged or look bad, even in chapters where I cuss like crazy. I committed to tell the truth even though some of my non-grieving friends may become insulted or angry with me.