I have protected myself whenever I can
Whenever possible, I protect myself from feeling sad or being hurt. For example, I stopped going on Facebook. I read an article once that said Facebook has caused many people to become depressed. They see other people’s lives and feel inferior or depressed that their lives and their kids aren’t as happy or successful. I know even the average person needs to be mindful on social media, let alone widows and widowers.
When I went on Facebook after Reg passed away, I felt bombarded by postings for other people’s happy lives. My Facebook feed was full of friends’ romantic photos or postings about how wonderful their spouses were. Alternatively, I saw posts from people complaining about their problems. I wanted to tell them to stop complaining; their problems were nothing compared with the loss of a spouse. I quickly realized that Facebook made me feel worse and stopped looking at it.
Gina remained on Facebook but often felt depressed after checking it. She finally took herself off or made it where she only saw the postings from a couple of widows she follows. She now empathically thinks widows and widowers should stay off Facebook or other social media, at least for a while.
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