As I Lay Pondering

Impact and Loss

ave you ever considered the lasting impact others

Hha ve in your life, both those you know and share

life with, as well as strangers and people you

encounter for brief moments? If we have even a

momentary connection with someone, there is

potential for loss, while the memory can last a lifetime.

Some losses are profound, like the sudden death of

a parent or the lingering breakup of a relationship.

Other losses come from unforeseen places, like the loss

of people you know for only a fleeting moment in time.

Personally, I can picture several seemingly insigni-

ficant encounters that left an impact on my heart: a

student who battled hard against me and then quit

school suddenly and silently; a man on the bus who

sleepily nodded off against my shoulder; another

stranger I knew for an hour before we shared a prayer,

never to see each other again. Each encounter touched

me deeply by its presence and I can feel the absence

along with the significant impact on my life.

Loss is indeed intense in our lives, especially when

we permit ourselves to acknowledge and experience it.

Feeling deeply leads to an emptying which then allows

us to be refilled with joy and other emotions of life. If

we refuse to empty ourselves, grief fills us to the brim

and we find ourselves immobilized and waiting to

overflow or explode. A balanced life cycle includes

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both emptying and filling. It is a cycle repeated over

and over again.

There is something magnificent in accepting what

we are offered each day. Some days request

emptying—others offer filling. Not expecting grand

results, we are open to surprise and then can see where

we have been touched and filled after allowing

ourselves to be emptied of held-in emotions. Will you

allow yourself to be impacted today by first emptying

yourself? Can you recall the moments when you felt

the inflow of life?

• Close your eyes and consider what emotions you

hold that are ready to be let go.

• After naming the emotions, practice opening

yourself by filling in the blank:

o If I weren’t focusing on grief, there would be

room for __________.

o If I quit pretending to be happy, I might feel

_______________.

• Observe how emptying makes room for filling.

• Allow yourself to move through the cycle of

emptying and filling, and witness it as a natural

process.