Deer Hunting from a Recliner: Reflections on Everyday Life in Northeast Wisconsin

I believe that all people can be divided into one of two groups. Those groups are not determined by skin color, gender, nationality, or even age. The difference is far simpler than that, and it is a difference that is so engrained in us that there is no hope for change–no chance of being reformed. You are born, draw a breath, and instantly become one of two things–a morning person or a night owl. It is that simple.

Think about it; you know which one you are. If you’re a morning person, you’re up at 5 a.m.–even on your days off. Discussing this habit with a night person is guaranteed to bring a look of shock, especially if you finish the sentence with, “I just couldn’t sleep.” Morning people are the ones who brew the coffee across America–and then offer it to the night owls, who groan and roll over to face the wall. Morning people pick up the newspapers, fry the eggs and bacon, bring in the cat, let out the dog, and whistle the whole while they are in motion; which forces the night owls to groan again and place pillows over their heads. Morning people need to be reminded that you really shouldn’t mow the lawn before 8 a.m. on a Sunday . . . especially if you live in town. Perhaps we should make that 11 a.m.–or better yet, noon