I thought I was being a man, asserting my rights and showing them who was boss, as you insisted. But, what good did it do me? I became a bloody tyrant! Is it any wonder that the people dislike me? Time and again I have stood against their will. Well, I’ve stood to stand no more! I’m through standing. I have gloried in the death of others until it makes me sick to think about it.” He sighed. “I’m getting old, Procla.”
“Nonsense!” She slammed her hand down on the table again, causing the dishes to rattle. “You’re only thirty-nine years old!”
“And nine of them spent in this wretched governorship, standing, lording myself over the people I should serve.”
“You should what? Is that how Rome got its glory – by serving people?”
“I don’t know about Rome, but I know what type of government is best, and Rome would have done well to add it to its list of Greek adaptations.”
“And what type is that, dear Pilate?”
By now he had finished eating. He put down his utensils and took off his napkin, placing it on his plate. “Well, it’s certainly not this miserable monarchy, where the only thought of the rulers is for their own welfare. It’s a thing called democracy, dear, democracy, a type of government whereby the people rule, only not directly, as they’re trying to do now, but through responsible government that knows what’s best for them and has their welfare in mind.”
She finished her meal as well, and moved her chair back, turning to face him squarely once more. “Pontius Pilate! Where did you get those ideas?”
“I told you I’ve been doing a lot of reading and thinking lately.”
“And that’s what you came up with? Democracy? Bah! What good would a democracy do?”
“It might give me some peace, for one thing. Why, it’s getting so that I can’t sleep at night for thinking about them.”
“---For thinking about who?”
“Who do you think? The people, dear, the people! I think of them constantly. Is it any wonder? I see them almost the entire day. They come to me with case after case, complaint after complaint, and I wish I could help them all. You see, I finally started seeing them as individuals, and not just as so many faces to be trampled on in the line of civic duty and on the way to the top. I’ve started to see them as people, Portia – as real people. I’ve started to realize that they have their own individual lives to live just as we have ours. They deserve some just consideration.”
“Pontius Pilate! Are you crazy? After nine years of despotic rule you--- No! Not now! Don’t go soft now! Why what would everyone think if you suddenly--? What do you think Caesar would say? You just might lose your position entirely, if word gets back to him. Did you think of that?”
“Yes, I thought of it. But somehow, it seems better not to rule at all than to continue being cruel, heartless and despotic. I’ve been that way for too long. I was even cruel and heartless toward my brother when I was a child. But, I was always sorry afterward. I wanted to change, but it seemed I couldn’t. Perhaps I never wanted to change badly enough until now.”
She scowled. “The only change you’re going to make is another step on the way up. And the sooner, the better!”
“Honestly, Procla!” He pushed himself away from the table and got up. “Won’t you ever be satisfied?”
“Not until you rule Galilee and Perea as well as Judea and Samaria.” She got up and followed him.
“You know I could never take Herod’s place.”
“Certainly you could!”
“Anyway, why should I? Herod is my friend.”
“He’s your friend, alright! He’s your friend just so he can get you to do everything he wants you to! You said you always follow his wishes even though---”
He flopped down on the couch. “But, Procla, dear, Herod is a very nice per---”
Suddenly there was a loud knock. Procla was still standing when the knock came. She started to call for the servant to get the door, but decided to get it herself, thinking that the exercise would do her good. “Well, how about that!” She smiled broadly at the visitors. “If it isn’t Herod and his lovely wife
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